Trailer | Welcome to The Crucible: Conversations for the Curious
Download MP3Welcome to The Crucible, Conversations for the Curious. I'm Hamish, your host. In each episode, you'll hear from everyday people who've been through profound and life altering experiences from life threatening illnesses or accidents, deep existential crisis, addiction, or having to make life choices that have ultimately brought them peace, connection, and purpose. They've all stared into the abyss, walked through the fire of their own personal dark nights of the soul, and emerged from the other side transformed. This podcast is for anyone going through an awakening, a time of massive change, or questioning the meaning of life.
Hamish:You are not alone. You can get through this. I promise you, life is more meaningful and beautiful from the other side. About 18 months ago, I had the idea to start a podcast. It would not go away.
Hamish:After avoiding the concept for a year or so, several opportunities collided, and this podcast, The Crucible, was born. But what would it be about? I remembered how scary and unsettling it was when I had to make a decision to drastically change my life. I had an awakening, A realization that told me if I did not change, then my life was at risk. So I began the process of change.
Hamish:After of course resisting fear, and pretending that everything was okay. I had to confront the most frightening parts of my life. My personal fears and beliefs, and I managed to change. I had to sober up. Through that process, I had to move continents, close my business, and watch as many of my relationships broke down.
Hamish:I lost friends because they did not want me to change. Life has taught me that many people experience awakenings during which they feel alone, frightened, vulnerable, confused, just as I did back then. So it made complete sense that the first season of this podcast would be about awakenings. What are awakenings? Well, there are times in most people's lives when a fork in the road appears, and a life transforming decision must be made.
Hamish:Sometimes these decisions must be made because we begin to see life with wiser eyes. Sometimes we see there is so much injustice or unfairness around us that we desire to make change to help other people. Sometimes we make these decisions to change because what we do with our lives no longer align to what is important to us, our values and our purpose. Sometimes life throws adversity at us. Illness, loss, grief, or catastrophic accidents that require us to change how we live.
Hamish:Sometimes, we realize a habit or a way of living is no longer healthy for us. It is not allowing us to thrive. And sometimes, we realise our lifestyles are too frantic and demanding, and this prevents us from living an authentic way that is aligned with our values and most important to us. All these things can be considered awakenings. Events that require us to make sense of who we are, what we are doing, and how we show up in the world.
Hamish:Awakenings are frequently frightening, and the lack of certainty, the fear of change, and the challenge to our beliefs make us very uncomfortable. We have no idea what the outcome will be. We know that if we have to change, and that the requirement to change is an unstoppable force. We have to change. It is that simple.
Hamish:These awakenings turn our lives upside down. We have to question what is important to us, what our values is, and what our purpose or identity is. We end up challenging our stories, our unconscious patterns, our beliefs and behaviors. Do they still serve us? Are they helping us, or are they hindering us from living a life aligned to our potential?
Hamish:My awakening arrived at the bottom of a bottle of alcohol. For years, I'd been drinking too much. I'd been successfully using alcohol, it was my crutch. I was the light and life of the party. I'd keep the party alive, and I'd be full of drunken confidence, and felt invincible.
Hamish:However, below that alcohol filled bravado was the real reason why I always had one too many. I was also using alcohol to numb my fears, and hide from sobering thoughts and the uncomfortable conversations that I knew I needed to have, but I simply did not have any idea how to deal with them. Alcohol was my crutch, and it was also slowly destroying my life, and I was become increasingly aware of this, and still denying it. I didn't want to wake up to the truth that I was an alcoholic, and destroying my life. Finally, things became binary.
Hamish:I now had 2 choices. Carry on drinking, driving drunk, deceiving others, lying, compromising my work, letting my clients down, and destroying my relationships, and ultimately, most likely wrapping myself around a tree, or I had to take responsibility for my life and get clean or sober. So I chose the second, and December 2018, I checked into rehab. Looking back, my awakening began with realizing I had a problem. It took a long time to admit I had a problem.
Hamish:Eventually, I asked for help, and so began my life changing transformation in rehab. Joining the real world in the beginning of February 2019 was a real test. I had to apply the lessons, the tools, and new skills I learned. I had to look at a great many aspects of my life to see what was working very little, and see what needed to change a great deal. I had to have those uncomfortable conversations.
Hamish:I learned to set up boundaries. I had to confront my demons. I became less afraid as I realised my worst fears were just lies. I did not die from those conversations. I did not melt into a puddle when I changed my beliefs.
Hamish:I did not lose my close friends when I no longer was going out drinking with them. And I began to live a life that was far more aligned with what was actually important to me, closer to my value, and healthy goals and desires. These awakenings have not stopped, and since sobering up my life has become remarkable. Life is not easier. I have had to become accountable for my actions.
Hamish:I have chosen to take responsibility for my choices and my responses. These decisions have allowed me to take back my personal autonomy and agency. I no longer play the victim, and I've stopped blaming people or situations that happen around me. Synchronicities show me that I'm on the right path, and I have found far healthier coping strategies. I'm no longer merely surviving, I'm thriving and flourishing.
Hamish:Many new opportunities and potentials appeared when I chose to change my life. I have reconnected with my family and made new friends, and I have a great relationship with my father. These three things would never have happened if I had not dared to change. So welcome to The Crucible, a conversation for the curious. Season 1 is all about awakenings.
Hamish:My guests are people who have heard the call to change their lives, aligned themselves with their true values and what is important with them. People who have almost died in accidents and have had to change their lives. People who have had childhood trauma, abuse, or life threatening illnesses and had to rebuild their lives completely, and no longer call themselves a victim of or a survivor of. People like me who use drugs and alcohol as coping strategies, and then realized they were running out of choices as they slowly destroyed themselves. People who have considered suicide because of so much childhood adversity, before realizing their experiences mean they could become guides and support others.
Hamish:I will be having conversations with people who have been through burnout, and people whose lifestyles had to change because it was ruining their lives. All these people's awakenings allowed them to make sense of their lives, to heal, to change, and they began to thrive. My guests all have remarkable stories, and yet they are ordinary people who've been through awakenings. And they are here on the podcast to share their stories, to let you know it is all gonna be okay. This podcast is a hug.
Hamish:It is to wrap its arms around you and say, I know things are uncertain. I know you're struggling. I know you're uncomfortable, and maybe lonely or lost, and wondering what the hell is going on. This podcast is here to say, it's gonna be okay. I promise you.
Hamish:It is my wish that everyone who finds this podcast will take away something of value that makes sense to them and helps them in their journey. My guests willingly share their stories because they've been through awakenings, and I hope you will find a connection with some of them and insight from their stories. This podcast is called The Crucible for several reasons. The crucible was the tool of the alchemists of old as they tried to change lead into gold. The crucible is a place of transformation, where heat and stirring and fire, and new things are created from old, where they are mixed, and stirred, and heated, and cooled, and transformed.
Hamish:This podcast is a crucible, where ideas and stories, hopes and fears, tears and laughter, memories and messages all come together. Life will not get any easier. It will be necessary to believe in ourselves a little bit more, to become stronger, wiser, more resilient, and better able to look inward to support ourselves. And then with that responsibility and accountability for ourselves, we will be better able to support those who need our help. Awakenings swing back our compass, aligned to our true north, our values, and our authenticity.
Hamish:Please dive into the following episodes, and the conversations with my guests. They all have stories of hope, overcoming change, and learning to believe in themselves. If you like what you hear, please share this podcast with friends and family, and anyone you know who needs some support in their time of transformation. Thank you for listening to this episode of The Crucible, Conversations for the Curious. If these powerful stories of transformation resonated with you, be sure to like, subscribe, and share this show with anyone who you think could do with a dose of inspiration for their own journey.
Hamish:I would really appreciate it if you could make any comments on your favorite podcast platform as well. That helps me reach more people. All the important links and information are in the show notes below. Thank you very much for listening, and catch up with you soon.
Creators and Guests
