The Crucible:Conversations for the Curious

Hamish Niven (00:03)
Welcome to The Crucible, Conversations for the Curious. I'm Hamish, your host.

In each episode you'll hear from everyday people who've been through profound life altering experiences, from life threatening illnesses or accidents, deep existential crisis, addiction, or having to make life choices that have ultimately brought them peace, connection and purpose. They've all stared into the abyss, walked through the fire of their own personal dark nights of the soul, and emerged from the other side transformed. This podcast is for anyone going through an awakening, a time of massive change, or questioning the

meaning of life. You are not alone. You can get through this. I promise you life is more meaningful and beautiful on the other side.

Hamish (00:48)
We're here today with Raz and he is from the centre of Israel. Raz, thanks ever so much for turning up today. Can you tell us a little bit about your awakening?

Raz Tayar (00:57)
First off, thank you very much for having me here. I really appreciate this place and the opportunity to talk and present what I have been through and all of this process. So thank you very much, Hamish. So a little bit about my awakening, if we can say it that way. For me, awakening, it's actually waking up to who we really are, our own true nature. Nothing special about me.

It is within every single one of us. It is within you, Hamish, your parents, your loved ones, everyone around us. And awakening for me, it is really awakening to the true nature of who we really are in our core. Means we are one, we are love, we are like, I hope we are not going too deep already, but eventually we are all the same one. Okay. And.

It started for me, this old journey started when I was around 19. I was in the army in Israel. We all serve in the army. I was in a combat unit and then I experienced a lot of pain, back pain. And looking backward, it is me, Raz, carry trauma from childhood, which I will not share right here, but it was a trauma that I carried literally on my back. And that made me to feel...

really in pain physically and mentally, and I couldn't really express what I feel. I felt exhausted of life, I felt stuck, I felt that nothing going my way. And then I remember this one event that I am in a room that my officer over there in the army wanted me to make a presentation to talk in front of a lot of people. And I remember this moment that 30...

pair of eyes looking at me, I feel the judgment and I become blushed and red and it starts shaking and I see those gazes looking at me and I'm so scared inside and all I'm asking is that please God, please whatever it is, just do not let it be that they would see that I'm freaking out from the inside. And while I'm shaking, like I just wanted to go.

out of there and just to tell you like the whole settings over there I'm behind some cover that is hiding me there is another girl that is doing just the same as I am we have something to read from and I know all of those people I know them pretty much some more some less and even with that I'm freaking out from the inside

That was just a big fear that came out, that fear of judgment, that people is looking and they would see me and they would laugh at me. And then when I just hope that I will just disappear and this is all going to end and I'm like scrambling, barely saying the words out of my mouth, then it's happening. They all see that I'm actually blushing. They see that I am really freaking out from the inside and they're starting to...

point on me. They actually saw that. And when I see their faces on those people in the back, like that was like the biggest fear for me just actually happening. Like that actually happened at that moment. And from that moment I said to myself after this event, I'm never going to do that again. Like I will never do that again as a sensitive man.

that was pretty introverted and I couldn't really express what I feel. That was like, that was too much for me. Today, after this journey, learning psychology, NLP practitioner, trainer, standing in front of people and actually telling my story, just as I'm doing right now, that is a honor for me to share my story and maybe inspire other people that your biggest fear,

That is just the beginning of something greater than you are. And moving forward, six years ago when I'm traveling in India, trying to discover who I am, what is that journey, what is my awakening, who I really am, that is the biggest question we all have to ask. And then I...

I traveled in India and I do not really finish this trip as everyone else. I wake up one day in an ambulance figuring out that I injured and fractured 17 fractures in my spine, two ribs that broke into my lungs and my leg. And I just discovered that after a few days, the biggest thing for me was there that

I understood that they got like a blank page, like this ball, like I have a blank page from now on. I had those fears, everything came up, but then I asked myself, do you really like, are you going to really use everything you learned, the NLP, the psychology, the everything that you learned in this journey until now, or are you going to resist that as you did in the first occasion when you couldn't really bear that fear?

Looking backward, that was like the biggest question that I actually asked myself. Like, I think it is Tony Robbins that is saying that the quality of your life is the quality of your questions. And I started to ask the right questions. I started to ask, what can I learn from that? Who do you want to be from now on? And just for everyone that is listening, awakening and creating who you really want to be or destiny.

This is not something that you have only one thing. In my opinion, you are the one that is creating that you are creating that you are someone that want to bring other people. Hamish, you are bringing other people the opportunity to share their stories, which is beautiful. In my opinion, we all have something to share and I know that you have something and because each one of us have this gift inside of us, this is our true call to share that I will not go to my

childhood trauma but all I can share is that that trauma made me to bring my voice that I couldn't really share over there and in that time that I shared before that I used to stand in front of people and I used to shake and and blush and be so fearful today I know this is my gift what I understood on lying bed on hospital bed over there in India

I understood that I got a gift. I live. I got this gift and the present moment and realising who we really are and bringing our own gift. This is one of the things that we can call awakening. Awakened to who you really are, your own gift, nourish them.

And from then, my gift and my vision is to help as many people as I can to free themselves from suffering and start smiling independently of any external. Just like I was in hospital bed, maybe you guys can see that on my page, I'm on hospital bed after a few days, few weeks, people come to visit me and they're asking, Raz, how are you doing? You are like, this and that happened, how are you doing, man?

And I'm like, I'm doing great. How are you doing? And they couldn't really realize that they, they was looking at me like, you're lying. And they are like asking again, but how do you feel? And I'm saying again, I'm doing great. Thank you for coming. How are you doing? And they couldn't really get that thing that it's all inside. We all have that leadership inside to lead our life. Whatever happened.

So this is a little bit about my awakening, we can say, but me awakened to who I can be and take my ambitious and stand on stages today. This is what I'm doing, helping others to do what I did and fulfill their life because we all have that gift inside of us.

Hamish (09:51)
And then the incident in...

in India, you had you fell off something 10 meters up. And then so then in the in the hospital, you just had time to think about things and what was important and and things like that. So how long were you in the hospital for?

Raz Tayar (09:58)
Yeah, correct.

So I was in India around like one month and a half moving from like around four or five hospitals. I was in danger of death because I had inner bleeding. I started to cough blood. So they understood it's not just injuries and fractures in my spine. It is also an inner bleeding, which is extremely dangerous. Okay. So it was around one month and a half and then...

I was in Israel, they brought me to Israel and then I was like around like a few days more but it was like the whole recovery was around one year like going to hospital to recovery day to day to get better.

Hamish (11:01)
Wow, okay. So you had time to think and decide what was important. What was the result of that? I mean, you've explained it's all about looking within, but how did you get to that point? What were you feeling? What were you thinking? What was your body telling you when you were going through this whole process?

Raz Tayar (11:26)
So if we are taking that moment that they realized that that is that happened, like I am in the ambulance. They are telling me, Raz you actually fell from 10 metres high. Then I didn't really believe them, by the way, at the beginning when I'm waking up, coming, like becoming awake. They are telling me that and I'm like, no, come on. And I'm asking someone else and then asking someone else. And like it was like around seven friends that was in the ambulance with the crew of the ambulance there in India.

And I think like it was around five friends that they had to ask that they would say, Raz, it actually happened. You fell from 10 meter height. And in that point, we have no idea what really happened. So the first reaction was I laughed. Okay. I was laughing. Like this is part of me recovering things. I'm laughing about things. Like I said, like how city is that man? Like how did it happen?

And then there was like few days in those few days, me realizing that yes, I'm in danger of death. Yes, I'm not going to really keep traveling, which this is what I thought. I didn't really understand how bad it was. I thought that three days and I'm going to walk again and everything is going to be okay. But it was more than two months that I cannot even sit. I'm just lying on hospital bed, seeing the ceiling like

Upside upside down turtle looking on the ceiling cannot really Do anything. This is how it was. I couldn't eat alone Couldn't do anything alone. Okay. So for someone that just wants to please and help others I couldn't do a thing for myself so for your question I was confused at the beginning. I was Extremely confused what it's going to be. I would not lie. I didn't what I was not just yes

I'm alive. I have a blank page. No, it was not like that. I was confused and there were questions that started to come up like what girl would want me? What career would I have as I'm injured like that when the doctor is telling me you're going to suffer from the pain to the rest of your life, you're going to have back pain. You wouldn't be able to even take a coke bottle and like hold it like that.

you will suffer from pain even doing that. That was a lie. Okay, not that I'm mad about the doctors, but they just said from the medical perspective what they thought it's going to be. And then other questions like who would want me, what career would I have, what would I do with my life? And those questions started to come up. And fortunately, I had beautiful amazing people around me like friends from

this traveling and this trip. And I remember that some of them said, Raz, it is a gift. Like you could be dead, but you are alive. And for some reason, something, someone wanted you to still be here. No matter what you believe, but something wanted you to be here.

And I'm someone that pretty much believe in that there is higher force than we are, whatever we call it, God, love, energy, universe, whatever we call it. We know that there is something and he pointed that there is that something that want me to be here. And then it hit me like, maybe there is, maybe there is some force that...

Wanted me to do not finish this journey here. Like I could be dead 10 meter height just for the perspective My mom said that like a week after that happened to me though was like How would I call it like Like those people that are on on on the circuits, okay, and they are like walking on really high Like tight ropes

They can do everything and it was extended six meter height and one of them actually fell down and he died Six meter and mine was ten. So then it gives you some perspective that well, whatever you believe You are here because something or someone wanted you to still be here. Whatever you believe it doesn't matter and After those times of confusion I understood

Yeah, maybe I have to do something with that gift. And then I started to visualize what I want. So this is another super important thing. Visualize what you want. Just yesterday, one of my family member had a child and like she was not born, but she had a child like two months ago. And she wrote in the WhatsApp group that she came into surgery.

brain surgery and I freaked out because I really love her and this is her daughter and I'm praying and one of the things that they did over there it is pretty similar to what they did on hospital bed and this is visualizing the end goal as if it is already fulfilled means I actually saw her daughter coming back today like

one day after for some reason after brain surgery, I do not really think that you're just coming back to home with your parents, right? But this is what I visualized. I didn't care. And one of the things that is super important is I didn't beg. At the beginning I begged. Like I said, please God, whatever it is, please make a miracle for her. I love her so much. And I started to see her. And then I switched that energy to stop being that someone that please God. It started to be happy.

like see her smiling coming back with her parents and guess what Haimish today I got in my whatsapp a picture that she is thanking everyone for praying and her daughter smiling coming back without anything that I imagined that could be the worst case she actually came back healthy and this is a holiday today yeah like this is a miracle I have no

Hamish (18:03)
Wow.

Raz Tayar (18:07)
I'm not saying I did it, a lot of people that prayed wished for that as well, but the same principles that I used on hospital bed and yesterday made the same things to happen. So for me, for example, it was, I wanted to walk again without relying on anything. So I started to imagine and visualize me and my dog walking and he's like really tough boy, you know, and I said like,

in my imagining, in like me imagine that if I can work with him means that I am pretty much good. So I started to see that I saw me going to a trip with my dog and doing those actions day after day. And there are some principle of course, and little nuance to that. And when you do them, you actually activate the biggest part, this part that is we are all

part of it.

Hamish (19:05)
We are creatives. We can create our own universe. We can create sadness and misery and hardship, or exactly as you've done, we can create something that we want. And I'd love you to tell me a little bit more about your visualizing, be able to walk again, because that's so powerful. But you're spot on. When we...

think about something when we desire it from here, very much from our heart and aligned with our purpose. It's not, I really desire a million dollars so I can buy a really nice house, a really nice car. No, You had that second chance, so it was important for you to live it. And you said, well, I need to be able to walk. And I think that's absolutely remarkable.

how did your family, how did that change? Your family relationships change when you came back from India and you then had months of recovery and presumably you had an idea of a career that you could no longer do.

Raz Tayar (20:08)
Well, they were supportive and I'm grateful every day that I have this family. Like, to be honest, a lot of people said that what my mom did, their mom would never do. And what my mom did, at the moment she heard that and then like she's telling me this whole story in much more expenditure of details, you know, like I'm a man and they women talk a lot about the details. And when she's...

talking and saying that she's telling that from her perspective after she's yelling, the first thing she's doing is like, she is calling to anyone that she can that would help her to fly at the moment to India to be with me. And this is what she did. Like the moment she could, like it was like after three days that they told her, the doctors that I'm not going to come back because of the inner bleeding, because I'm in danger of death, of being death, she just flew.

She took like whatever I took and just came to India to be with me, a foreign country that she was never been and she was with me. So after that, they were super supportive. People came to visit me. They fed me, they helped me and step by step, I came back to what I was just for a perspective after one year from that accident.

Accident that was not an accident. That was the biggest present of my life. Yeah, let's be honest. I Went to a ski trip One year after this accident. I went to a ski trip means I was with something to support me and some pills for pain but I was pretty Motivated to keep going in with my life. I started to picture not only me walking with my dog, but the

the biggest expression of me and visualize that every single day. And you asked that before and for me, it was, I saw me when I'm lying on hospital bed physically, I saw in my mind a picture of me on stage. Okay, like I saw myself going through the biggest fear that I had. And so I did after like one year.

I think like a little bit after the recovery, I went to NLP trainer, which is how you stand up in front of camera, how you stand in front of stage and people. And today, like the biggest dream is like to stand on Ted Talk. And I will, you would see my name there, like 1000%. You will see that

Hamish (22:53)
I guess as well, your priorities have shifted. What's important to you has shifted. Expand on why nearly dying, breaking your back was the best thing that ever happened to you and who you are as a result of that.

Raz Tayar (23:11)
So who I was before that is well, I was like scared, introverted, sensitive guy who felt inadequate to society because society and I came from a religious family. I raised that there is heaven and hell. And if you do good, you go to heaven. If you do bad, you go to hell. And

that is really hard concept to believe in. And today I can tell you that heaven and hell are here, like right here, right now. Okay. So before this accident, I lived in pretty much hell. Like the story that I told you at the beginning, 30 pair of eyes looking at me standing, that was hell, absolute hell. My whole life was a big hell. Today's heaven. I truly believe that

There is absolute joy like there is no difference and our journey here is to be that Here and now and that can be only here and now of course that could that cannot be in the future that cannot be in the past that can only be here and now and

Before that, I used to be like, I feared from judgment and I overcame that. I used to fear of rejection and I went through that. I had the fear, which I have sometimes even today, the fear that I'm not enough, that I'm not good enough, this inner doubt. And all of those fears are stopping us from being who we really are. A clue for those that are listening, Hamish, those fears are here.

exactly and specifically for us because life happening for us and not to us. It's happening for me means every time that I have some fear it is here so I would be able to overcome that. It is here because the biggest version of me, me that actually fulfilling and have the beautiful life, wealth, great relationship, beautiful body, beautiful health, they're all just

one step after you overcome this fear. And some people are super afraid that, yeah, but what would happen? And if you would tell them, yes, you can just do it, and this is actually what we should actually do, but the mind make it really complex. A lot of times after we are doing those little things, there is higher force that's supporting our way. Means, for example,

when I understood that I want to be the greatest expression that I can be and I went to learn how to lecture in front of people. Then some new opportunities came by. I learned from the most successful person here in Israel that also interviewed in the BBC and a lot of international channels. And I learned from him and I became like one of the best. I'm...

I truly think that I'm really amazing lecturer. And then I got more opportunities and this dream that I would stand in talking in front of people became a dream that today I have created few courses, courses that one of them called the Flagship Program, the Peaceful Leader Blueprint, where I help people to bring this peaceful leader that is inside and move from that place that I said before to who we can be, to the most fulfilled.

most connected, happy, confident version of ourself. And I'm saying that maybe you can't see that today, but I was extremely unconfident. I couldn't even say hi to someone new. And if I had to talk to some girl that I saw that I like her, I couldn't do that. I will tell you one story that you would understand.

I had so much negative thoughts about myself before that. I used to walk in the street and imagine that I'm walking in the street and three girls passing by me and they are beautiful, okay, and I'm moving past them and Suddenly when they pass by me, they start to laugh. They are like jiggling. Haha And it's like sweet if you'd see that it's like little girls laughing but

All that happened in my head was, you are such a loser. they're laughing at you. they think that you are such a big fat loser, unsuccessful man. Look at you. How ugly, how weird are you? And all of those are thoughts in my head, which I believe that all of them who I really am, I believe those thoughts. Today, okay, today the same thing happened. Same thing, Hamish.

and something extremely different happening. What is actually happening is the same thing happening three girls, three beautiful girls passing by me on the street. I'm walking. First off, I'm smiling. Second, all I say to myself that they are laughing because, you're such a cool man. They are laughing because you're such a handsome boy. they know that you are such a big win if they would get you.

It doesn't matter. You have a girlfriend and all of those positive self -talk that I have today. Nothing changed outside. Nothing. Okay. Same thing, but the inner expression of my image, who I really am that extremely changed. I became someone else. I became someone that if I would talk to my old self, my younger self, he wouldn't recognize that like,

I like some part of me died few times. Okay, like there was few version of me that died and I died many times to be honest like someone that would hear that and he never died in his head like he never changes identity drastically. He would maybe say like what the fuck he's saying, right? Like what what is he saying? But we all die sometimes it's when we leave some identity behind us.

and we change and when we change that identity we become someone else and there are three main things that for those that are listening maybe that would give you some direction you have to change three main things and they're super important one is what you have to be focused on the what you have to have clarity on what you want the second thing is you have to know why so the first one is about the mind

Okay, what is it the thought what i'm directed to the second thing is why why i'm doing it Why I want it. This is my heart's desire what my heart really wants that my soul desires We want to combine them both and the third thing which most people never even point or say This is the identity the identity that you wear You can look at that as like the identity is your clothes. Okay, this is like your car

but you are not your car, you are not your clothes, you are what is within. And you can change clothes, you can change your car, but your true self is the same, right? So what really changes, I just, a lot of people here that in the self -development area, I just removed more and more layers out of this onion that this is who we really are. And in our core, we are all the same.

This is why I help people to stop suffering, start smiling independently of the external source and be their own peaceful leader. Within you and me, there is the same source, the same self. And that self is that peaceful leader that we all have in common. The one that just knows what is right. So those three things, the what, why and who, like the mind, the thought, the heart, which is the emotion.

and the identity, which is the what you wear, the clothing that you wear. When you change them all, you can change every single thing and we can all do that and we all did that. It was just unconscious. And when we do that consciously, this is what we are doing in my program and other people doing that. But when we do that consciously, that is like, that is a magic in my opinion.

Hamish (32:06)
Absolutely. It is. And so many people I identify by their job. I'm a mum, I've got children. I'm a dad, I've got children. I'm a lawyer. I'm this, I'm that. Exactly as you said, forgetting that this is what I am. I'm here. I'm here. I'm this person. I'm not external things. And I think that's really important to appreciate. And yet it's...

It is an awareness and it's also difficult to re -identify with things because you've got to, you've got to take responsibility for your life, haven't you? You've got to start saying, this is who I am. This is why I am. I love that. And this is how I am. And looking at your identity and realizing you're not your car. You're not those shoes. You're not anything. You are whatever you want to be. And I think, I think you've really had it on the head because you can be whatever you want to be.

You can make yourself that. And yeah, you've got to die. So what? You know, you've died. You fell off the whatever it was, the roof and you died. I had to stop drinking. I died. And...

then you've got all that potential. As you said earlier, you've got any potential you want. And I think that is fantastic. So when you die, when you've changed your identity, what happens to the people around you? What happens to your situation and you? What do you become and what happens around you?

Raz Tayar (33:42)
Do you mean like in my own occasion or generally when we change that identity?

Hamish (33:47)
I think, well, maybe, maybe definitely for you because you've been through this. So you're talking to me and I'm, I'm on that cusp. I don't want to identify as, as that and that. I don't want to identify as the victim who I always felt I've been, you know, I used to get beaten up as a kid and all this kind of stuff. And I want to change and I'm frightened, but I know I want to. So I'm doing that process that you've done. So what, what can you tell me that is going to make me.

risk changing my identity. Why should I do it? What is the benefit? What will I get out of it?

Raz Tayar (34:27)
Well, first off, we need to remember that we are all motivated from two main things. The first one is running from pain. The second one is thriving for pleasure. Tony Robbins talk and a lot of new age psychology, super important to understand. It's either you try to run from pain, which is the biggest motivation for us. We are human beings. And the second one is striving for better, striving for pain. So.

At the beginning of my journey, it was mainly running from pain. It was mainly stop experiencing that suffering of being controlled by my emotions, by my fears, by my doubts, by my worries, by what people are saying that I should do. And eventually after I've been through some things, this is a negative motivation, by the way, the first one.

The second kind of motivation is...

Getting more of what we want. For me, for example, it is about giving. Like I want to have meaningful contribution until the day I die. I don't want to live the same life I had before that accident, okay? I want to have different life. This is why I have in my head a blank page that I started to draw what I want until this very day. I'm doing that from time to time. Like...

Literally writing and drawing who I want to be so for your question. Why would we do that? first off in my opinion and that would sound really cruel, but This is what I saw until now. I actually believe that I hope that I'm wrong But most people around 90 % and I think even much more but let's put it in 90 % of people are changing only as a result of

of suffering and running from pain. Means even in my occasion, and as I understood, I guess in your case as well, we trying to run from this pain. We are not just unsatisfied. Okay. This is like a little road. We are suffering. We can't like, we are drawing this line on the sand and each one of us has this point in life that no more. I would not live that way. I wouldn't, I don't want this life anymore.

And sometimes this is the most important point when we cross this line in the sand and say no more, I'm not going to live that life anymore. And for the question that why we would even do that first off, I believe that we need to get to the bottom. We need to get to this point that we suffer that much. And some of you guys that is listening to that, that are listening, just...

I just want to encourage you, if you are still suffering and you had not changed yet, just understand that you have super power to suffer. You are so strong that you can actually suffer by now. This is beautiful, beautiful point, okay? But just take this one point when you actually choose that you want to do that, you don't have to keep suffering. I promise you, I'm not saying any of that to encourage you. Like just yesterday I had this...

one trainee that he said to me something after I said to him that he asked like, can I go through that? Can I be like to the direction that you told me? And he said, absolutely. And he said like, aren't you saying that just to encourage me? And I said, hell no, man. Hell no. I know that. I know that I see thousands of people and I know that there are millions of people that already did that. So why can't you?

Sometimes we are so locked in our head and even me with my own struggles or challenges these days. I know that one day I would go through them no matter what. I know that there is no difference between what happened to me physically or me not having a girlfriend and saying like I'm not loving myself. How can I even find love? Like who would want someone that can't even love myself? And this is like the very sane and very self -talk that stopped me from having a girlfriend. Okay.

Then I started to give myself this love and I found love like this is just when you change things here the external world changes accordingly, so why would we change is usually one suffering from enough pain the second thing is Striving for more it is when we stop Being jealous or and an envy on other people

It is when we stop scrolling on Instagram and see all of those beautiful life. Okay. And we say, and we get encouraged. Instead, we choose that I want to make my life a masterpiece and I'm going to make it no matter what. So those two things are actually what I mentioned before about motivation. The first one is running from pain when I don't want to suffer anymore. And I said like enough is enough.

And the second thing is like some part of me want more. This is my sole want. And one of the things that we can all do is be in a supportive environment. Be around people and listen to podcasts like that. And people like that, like you that's visiting other people or talking about that. People that are encouraging. It can be your friends. It can be mentors. It can be communities, maybe going to church.

everything that is uplifting your spirit will help you. And that was like biggest, we can say pain point in my case or biggest endeavor in my journey that I had a lot like a hard time to change my environment. It was really hard for me. And this is one of the basics to have better life. So those of you that are listening, change your environment and be ready to be alone.

that this is extremely important to be ready and allow yourself to be alone. When you allow yourself to be alone, this is like the biggest thing that you can do for yourself because two things will happen. The first one is you would start to love yourself. Okay. And there are a lot of ways to do that. You can Google that. You can just send me a message on Facebook and I will try to help you out as I did to the guy yesterday. And the second thing that would happen when you are being alone,

you allow the universe, God, the world to give you the new environment that you want to have. You start redirecting your life and your mind towards the new future that you want. And you cannot do that when your cup is full. It means you have those still same environment, the same wrong friends, family. I'm not saying they are bad, but you are still hanging out the same time with them. So you are not allowing the new to come up. Like and...

Like a full cup cannot be full more than what it already is. You need to remove whatever is inside, the old environment, the old habits, and then the new can come.

Hamish (41:59)
How do people quieten themselves to make that time to listen to themselves and listen to the universe?

Raz Tayar (42:06)
Like a lot of people saying, well, you're saying those things, but how do I really start?

So what I recommend is first off meditate. Meditation allows you to be here and now and few key points that most people wouldn't tell you about meditation.

The first thing that you have to understand it is a practice. This is not you winning meditation or losing meditation. There is no such a thing. You are practicing. The second thing is when a thought come up, you are not losing. You are just... You are doing it actually right. If a thought is coming and it's like saying, no, you can't do that. No.

this is just a bullshit no you have to pay this bill no she told you that no it's okay this is part of the process allowed it to come and the last thing i will say to you when those things comes up in meditation and i'm giving a lot of tools here that i'm giving to my paid clients usually one of them is actually understand that you want to say that as well has the permission to exist do not resist that

when we resist, it persists. When we try to say no, like some voice in the head saying no, but you can't feel that. Like this guy yesterday, we came into some meditative state and I wanted to really feel that, how it feels like. And he had a really hard time, like he was shaking. And I told him, that's okay, allow this to happen. And he's saying, but...

I hear this voice that's saying to me, you do not deserve to feel good. And I say it to him, that's okay. Do not resist that voice. That's okay. You don't have to say, no, no, no, and like stop. And he's like opening his eyes. It's okay. That has as well as the permission to exist. Another sentence that you can say is, this is what it is. This is what it is. That's okay.

So those things I can say about meditation, meditation is super impactful, like endless research, helping to the body, healing the body, strengthening the immune system, like endless things. You can just Google that or check GPT that and see endless evidence that meditation is something that is healing, super powerful. The second thing for people that are starting, as I already said, is be alone and change your environment, like allow yourself to be alone and change your environment. This is super...

important and the third thing start to give yourself love what we really strive for and the biggest fear that all of us have is that we will die in some way and if we take like 1 000 years ago when we had tribes okay and when we had no tribe we are dead okay because we have no protection we cannot really protect ourselves because we are alone

We are not in the city and there is a danger always. And today this fear that we would stay alone means no love, means we would be rejected or we would be judged and then we would be rejected and be alone. Then it's like, why? The brain actually go into the survival mode that it is dangerous because it takes you to 1000 years ago or I don't know, a few hundred years ago.

when you was out in the nature without protection, that means you are dead. So if you are isolated and you had no tribe, no family, no people, no friends that would be with you, that means actually to be dead. So when you are getting rejected means you do not love yourself and you are just dependent on the external world, means the brain just switched to survival mode.

And then there are those negative thoughts, the overthinking, the fears, the worries, the doubts. And all of those comes up as a result of not giving ourselves the one thing that we all need. And there is research, and I'm telling you that because I've been through that research and I teach that all the time because this is extremely important. And listen carefully, that is beautiful research.

They have tested that little monkeys when they are separated from their moms, they did the research that they are putting them in a lab and they are giving them like two characters. One that feed them like some metal, okay, metal or something like that, that is just feeding them. No warmth, no like no human or no monkey mom, nothing, but it feeds them. The other one is fluffy. It's like...

it's like feel warm and it's nice and they left them alone. What do you think happened Hamish?

they all went to the second one, okay? I will tell you, they all went to the second one and when they needed the food, they went to the mom, like the metal one that gave them food and came back to the one that was fluffy with the fairy that they could hug because they needed the warmth and that research actually proved that we all want in our core love.

And what they concluded from that, that we are creatures of love, we are creatures of emotions. And what we need in our core is love. And more than that, we need that out of this research as we need food and sometimes more. So as you need air and food and water to live at the same breadth, funny enough, but at the same level, we need love and warmth.

and connection and this is like the third in Maslow pyramid of needs that expresses the needs of the human of the humankind we all need that and this is have been proved already so what we can do is give ourselves love there are many ways to do that but like we all heard that but this is extremely important most of the problems that I'm having Hamish

with people is like usually giving them love not that it will come from me but I'm teaching them how to give that to themselves

Hamish (49:01)
It is so important, isn't it? Learning, learning self -compassion, learning self -care and learning to love oneself. And I don't understand why our current culture where it's, it's not there because everyone's parents to more or lesser extent has loved them the best that they were able. But I mean, you're seeing it. I see it. Other people are spoken to. People don't respect themselves. People don't love themselves, but...

It is a process to do that and I'm guessing certainly in my case through my awakening, through having to make hard choices, I began to realize I had to start looking after myself better and loving myself better.

That is incredibly important. How do you encourage people to look at that and to appreciate that they can, when they start loving themselves and rewriting those stories of I'm not worthy, how can they start to develop that self -love to evolve?

Raz Tayar (50:03)
First off, we need to understand the four main sources that we need to give ourselves love. I call them the four wheels of self love. Imagine a car that is driving and it has four wheels. Each wheels need its own air, means its food, let's call it that way, okay? And each wheel,

is one part of us that need the right nutrition, the right food for itself. So the four of them are body, mind, emotion, and spirit or soul, whatever you call it. So each one of those are having like some spatial needs. And one core hack for this method that we want to give to that each one of those parts.

or wills the right nutrition is that there are certain activities that would give some of them, like more than one of them, the right nutrition or even to all of them. One of them I already shared, meditation. Meditation is actually good for the body. It calms the mind because it quiets the thoughts. It reduces the volume of them and there are endless of them today.

For the emotion, it's regulate your emotion, it's helping you to be more in control and master your own emotion when you practice meditation. And for the spirit, this is like one of the biggest way that people like for thousands of years are focusing on the here and now and meditating and becoming that, becoming that being that is the one and connecting to it. And this is one of the common methods to be.

here and now and connected to the spirit. So I will give you just a few examples for self love for each one of those. But we need to understand that each one of us has its own unique activities and ways to give to each wheel or part their own nutrition for that self love. I will give you my own examples. I will give you a few of them for each one so people would understand.

For the body, I'm exercising, okay? Pretty straightforward. I eat healthy food. I eat pretty much the most that I can organic food. I'm not perfect at that, but I'm trying my best. For the mind, I'm reading books. I hear podcasts. I'm sharing my thoughts with people like you and others and I teach them what I learn. I keep investing in myself, in my brain.

Even though I know enough things that I'm happy and motivated and fulfilled every single day, I keep learning because it's already part of my ways. And one big secret, all of the most successful people that I learned about in all of the books, they all had one thing in common. They all had, and you can see that even Arnold Schwarzenegger, Oprah Winfrey, whoever you would look up and also people in the history, they all had some kind of,

personal development journey for their own self. So investing in that thing that is between our two ears, this brain, is the biggest and the best investment that you will do in your whole life. The best. Know your clothes, know your car. It is not the house. This is not the toy, the yak, none of them. The third part or will that we want to give the love for,

is the emotion. So what I do is I journal, I talk to myself and connect between the parts within me and give them love, like literally bring that peaceful leader within me that is communicating with them. I'm doing that with writing, with certain exercises, writing verbally outside, having environment and people that I love and express that love to them and for my spirit.

I meditate, as I said, it also apply to all of my parts. I'm doing yoga. I am connected. I'm connecting and asking my higher self, this version that already have what I want. I am advising with it. Okay. I'm connected to eat as much as they can. And also I'm doing every single day some exercising.

like self -centering exercise. This is some of the things that I'm teaching my students, which is some exercise that you are centering yourself in the middle of the day. Extremely important to get out of the outer screen, the outer environment, people, smells, sights, and also from the inner screens, my thoughts, my emotions. And when I am in the middle, I'm connected to my...

Spirit I am in the middle screen and in the middle screen you are disconnected from the script From whatever is going outside and then you can create your own life So those four wheels and parts when you give each one of them love and this is this is why I gave the example and the metaphor of a car and wheels You don't want to just give a lot of air to one wheel or two wheels or three wheels because there is the last one that if it

has no, yeah, exactly, you would go out. You would go out. So the key is balance, balance between all of them.

Hamish (55:44)
It takes me back to the "Think and Grow Rich." You can't just exercise one leg. You can't just exercise your mind. It's all of it. We are physical creatures. We are mental. We are emotional creatures and spiritual creatures. And we've got to embrace all of those. I think that is a really great answer. Thank you.

do you think we humans are spiritual creatures?

Raz Tayar (56:09)
Yeah, 100%. One little evidence that we all can find already in modern science, which when I saw that and understood that, I like, like, it's like, like it was mind blowing. Okay. Let me put it that way. This microphone, this screen, my hand, my hair, you, your friends, your mom, each one of the things that you can see, touch, smell, whatever.

are made from the same matter. Science already knows that. From atoms in different components and different speeds. And when you take something, each one of those things, and you separate that to the atom level, and then you keep separate that, you come to this subatomic particle. And some of the...

physicists saying that there is more than that but let's stop there when you look at that in the microscope you see this nuclear nucleus and you see a lot of neutrons and protons turning around very rapidly like this is modern science physics everyone can see that when you ask them how much of this is actually matter

and what is the other like the nucleus and the other thing the neutrons which we call them in some way energy already how many of that is really you know solid and how many of that is not the answer is amazing it is 0 .4201 means almost all of that or none of that I'm sorry

is matter the rest is void, vacuum, energy, nothingness means like Raz what are you saying like I can touch that I can see that I can see you like this is solid like this is I can touch that like what do you say what are you saying man

The thing that is connecting between us is our own thoughts, frequency and emotions, which is eventually the thoughts and emotions. You and I, for example, are connected with the viewers and the listeners in the same frequencies in some way. We are all attract like, like attract alike. Okay. This is like very simple rapport principle. Like attract alike means,

I am attracting the same people as I am. So for your question, we are all spiritual. This is an illusion. This is not a hoo -hoo. You can see that. You can go see Dr. Joe Dispenza is talking about that from the scientifically, like he would explain to you exactly, much better than I can, how it works. Dr. Bruce Lipton, they read, they wrote books about that. There are amazing researchers and there are doctors, okay?

And there are endless evidence. So in our core, we are all spiritual creatures and we are all here for some I wanted to say duty, but I would use some other word which could be vocation. Okay, we have some gift we are here to give and this is a journey. This is a journey. So for your question, of course, we are all spiritual beings, all of us.

Hamish (1:00:02)
Yep. I love that answer and I completely agree. It took me a long time to appreciate that. Like you, you've alluded, I was brought up religious and it was not my thing. It didn't resonate. However, through my awakening, through rehab, through realizing things, I...

I came to realize that yes, there is more, there is that spiritual element to it and it is incredibly profound. And science can't disprove it. You know, consciousness, quantum mechanics, what you've talked about, energy, there's so much there that beyond what we can touch and things like that. And I just think that's, it makes it beautiful and it doesn't take away.

being human, it doesn't take away from anything. I think it allows us to sort of be bigger and appreciate things or appreciate things differently. So I love what you've had to say, everything you've had to say.

And curiosity, I think that's one thing you haven't mentioned, but that's certainly everything through what you've been talking about. You're very curious. What gets you out of bed in the morning?

Raz Tayar (1:01:28)
First off, you touched on one point that I had a lot of time. Like I, this is one of the biggest point that if you guys that are listening and hearing and seeing that want to take like one trait that would make you successful in your own way, no matter what is what you just said, curiosity, like being the infinite student, being the one that is always striving to learn. Like we are all.

Learning even me talking to you right now. You even asking me. I'm learning I'm getting something. Okay, so for your question curiosity is extremely important I Would I would say to people that are going through this journey if if I understood what you're asking and correct me if I'm not answering that That you would go to sources that you feel eager and resonated

energetically when you are talking to them, when you're hearing them, when you feel that, like you feel that you cannot ignore that. And maybe there like there would be a fear with that. That is actually a good sign. That means that you see this two roads and there is like this. I think this is a poet in English when I learn and English is not my native English. So I'm sorry for all of the grammar mistakes here.

There is a story that is talking about the road not taken, if you know that Hamish. And it's talking about one way that everybody used to take. And this is usually the road that you just took until today, not you, but most of us, every one of us, until this very day, we take that road most of the time. This is the road that already have been taken, that people already took before you. And this is usually the mind way and what people say that you should do.

usually resisting to the fear and there is the other way, the road not taken. That's what I used to say to people when they used to talk to me and they were confused. I used to just share with them that story and remind that we all have those two roads and we need to choose. Either you stop this curiosity part of you and go to the road that you know and familiar, which is okay, no judgment like...

I love all of you that would keep taking that road. That's all right. That is okay. But the biggest expression of yours, the fulfillment, the joy, the biggest dreams of yours, just one decision away. And it is about taking this road, the road not taken, the road that is going through the fear, through the...

The anxiousness of doing something that you have never done all of my biggest Decisions I used to say to the clients that I used to talk to was like the biggest decisions that I took that were the the best Always started with this one sentence Sorry for the word, but fuck it

Yeah, like that always start with that Okay, and one other thing that I think people would need to hear in the road My mentor is saying that a lot and I don't remember the sauce or forgive me It is nothing Await you on the top Nothing I will I will repeat Nothing await you on the top. There is nothing await you when you get the dreaming car

There is nothing that is waiting for you when you get this dream home, this relationship, this one million thousand billions of dollars. There is nothing waiting for you when you would get this island, this vacation, nothing. It is actually on the journey. It is who you become. It is who like all of those things that you are doing bringing you to being someone else, someone that is Arabian.

like another identity and that person on its nature that already have those he knows to feel fulfilled and happy from those things so ask yourself that what if what if I am able to feel as if the wish fulfilled now and when we understand that we can do that 1000 %

sure that we can, people are teaching that all around the world, I'm teaching that as well, feel as the wish fulfilled and you are already living in the here and now when you already have what you want. Means you are not attached to the results, you are happy and fulfilled now and you are already like having what you want from the being and in that way you are not only happy now,

You are also attracting in maximum record time speed the wish that you have.

Hamish (1:06:43)
I like that. I like that a lot. Yeah.

A lot to think about. This has been a fantastic conversation. Really, really interesting.

Yeah. Hmm. Thank you. Tell me, Raz, how can people find out a little bit more about you?

Raz Tayar (1:06:58)
Beautiful.

Well, first off, I hope that I gave you some background about myself here and if you guys want to talk to me, share your comments, your thoughts, your observations, ask a question, feel free to approach me on my Facebook, Raz Tayar and you will find me, this handsome guy that you would see, this is me, I'm kidding, but you can find me there. My YouTube channel, which...

from time to time I'm coming back because I'm starting out a project in my native language recently, but you can see videos over there. But the best way to communicate is actually via my Facebook on the messenger, send me a message. I will see that maybe after a few days or after a few hours and I'm always answering unless you start to just promote something and push that to me. Then I will just ignore.

I wanted to just give something for free for those people that are watching and listening. I've made an emotional mastery mini course for free because I feel that was the biggest thing that helped me to control my feelings. I don't want anything in return. Just use that, okay? Just as I gave to that amazing guy yesterday that I talked with. This is an emotional master, which I know that Hamish would publish for all of you to just click on that.

It will teach you everything that you need to learn about emotions because there are even I think this is the most important thing that you would ever learn about life when you want to create what you want. Mastering your own emotion. If you are happy, you would be able to walk in one way or operating in one way. If you are depressed, you would probably just probably operate in different way. Right. OK.

So if you can control those states and you can master them, you would be able to approach who you really are most easily that you could ever think of. So this is a very, very beautiful thing that I've made and you can approach that for free. And also, as you already said, watch the other channels that I've shared before.

Hamish (1:09:29)
Brilliant, thank you. I'll put all that information in the show notes so people can find that. I think that's brilliant. That's EversaKind doing that free gift for everybody as well. I know people will enjoy that. And I will look forward to that as well. So thank you. Right. The last question I want to ask you. What gift did you get from your awakening? Or what superpower have you developed from your awakening?

Raz Tayar (1:09:55)
Hmm. All right. So the biggest thing that I got from what we call here awakening in some way is the peaceful leader within me. This is the one being that we all have within us. You, me, each one of us has this common being, this one consciousness that is common for all of us. And from that experience, like me,

Approaching and connecting to that being to that we can say it's not even a being it is it is it We can't really talk about it because it is it it's not something it's formless. All right When you're able to connect to that you're able to lead your life and most importantly in my opinion peacefully

Because if I can lead my life with that voice that is always yelling this mind, this monkey mind, this ego, it's not really the life that I would wish for myself or for you guys. So finding the peaceful leader within me that is allowing me to feel every single day fulfilled, empowered, energized, full of...

vitality and like I feel that I can do everything and we all have that thing within us to communicate with that and when we have that present and we know that it's always here, home, it's here now and when we can approach that without suffering and without depending on something external like friends, drugs, parties, mom.

parents, kids, whatever is outside of this skin and outward when we can stop being dependent on that, we are becoming the peaceful leaders for our lives. I hope that answers.

Hamish (1:12:04)
That is a brilliant answer. Yep. I like that. The peaceful leader of ourselves. Yeah. I think that is very good. Well, Rouse, thank you ever so much for your time. You've given me a lot to think for, a lot to think about, and certainly some lovely messages and some thoughts and some inspiration for people. So thank you ever so much.

Raz Tayar (1:12:24)
Thank you very much, Hamish. I appreciate you and your time and I hope that more people are watching you and the other guests that and that this beautiful project of yours and your podcast and they would also publish that and promote that to their other people, not to watch me, but to watch your beautiful aspiration and inspiration, see more people and get inspired from them because by the way, this is...

the most beautiful way and the biggest way that other people have created massive success in life, they actually interviewed and modeled other people. And what you're doing is in some way doing the same. So thank you for the opportunity and thank you for the opportunity to give service and value.

Hamish (1:13:14)
Thank you.

Hamish Niven (1:13:18)
Thank you for listening to this episode of The Crucible, Conversations for the Curious. If these powerful stories of transformation resonated with you, be sure to like, subscribe and share this show with anyone who you think could do with a dose of inspiration for their own journey. I would really appreciate it if you could make any comments on your favourite podcast platform as well, that helps me reach more people. All the important links and information are in the show notes below. Thank you very much for listening and catch up with you soon.