The Crucible:Conversations for the Curious | Transcript: S1-E02 | Vincent - At just 9 years old Vincent was prepared to end his life to escape his traumatic childhood.

S1-E02 | Vincent - At just 9 years old Vincent was prepared to end his life to escape his traumatic childhood.

June 15, 2024 / 01:16:22/S1:E2 Download MP3

Hamish (00:01.494)
Hi, today we have got Vincent with us. Vincent is a transformational guide. Thank you very much, Vincent, for turning up. Can you tell me a little bit about your story, your awakening?

Vincent Cubitt (00:15.025)
Absolutely. Thank you so much, Hamish, for having me on the podcast and to all of your listeners, thank you for joining us. So my story started a bit long time ago when I was very young, like seven or eight. My parents were violent alcoholics and so I was born into a world that was chaotic. A lot of stress, a lot of emotional turmoil, a lot of violence. And I had three younger siblings and at about seven or eight years old,

I was forced into a situation where I had to take care and take responsibility for those three younger siblings. So there was a 4 year -old, a 1 year -old, and a newborn infant with colic. And so at that point where I was not forced into responsibility, that just generated so much stress and fear in my world. And that sort of culminated to a point where after a year of doing that sort of by myself, often being alone with them for two or three weeks at a time, and facing all of those situations,

I got to a place where suicide was my only way out of the stress. I couldn't run away. I couldn't do anything else. I couldn't get away from the responsibility of these three children. And so I started having this fantasy that suicide would be the way out of it and I wouldn't have to worry anymore. So that was the biggest thing. It all came to a head. So I'll talk about a transformational moment in that space where on Christmas Eve, just before my 9th birthday,

My parents had had a horrific fight. My father had beaten my mother, cut her eye open, and the food had gotten burned for the Christmas dinner, and my siblings and I were alone having this Christmas Eve. And it just became so overwhelming that I decided that was the night. And so when they were asleep, we looked directly across the road from a train line. So in my young mind, I thought that would be the fastest and least painful way to go. I was going to just jump in front of the train. And so...

I left everything behind, went, climbed over the fence in the dark, it was very cold, climbed over the fence, went down, sat and waited for a train. And while I waited for this train, this fantasy of escape from the situation just played out in my mind. And it became almost the perfect solution to this, the whole situation. I was thinking, well, actually, first of all, I'm out of the situation. I don't have to stress about this anymore. There was no fear in me. I was like, this is the perfect solution.

Vincent Cubitt (02:39.153)
And my parents in the morning, they would find my mangled body on the train tracks and they would be so remorseful that all of a sudden things would magically change and they would stop drinking and they would stop fighting and they would become better parents and all of these things. And so that fantasy played in my mind the whole night. And thankfully it was Christmas Eve and so no train did arrive. I'm not sure what would have happened, but anyway, that's not the point. So in the morning as the sun was coming up,

If anybody knows Cape Town in South Africa, Table Mountain is this beautiful flat mountain in the distance. And as the light was sort of, silhouetting the mountain in the distance, I had my first, what I call my first moment of truth. And there was my own inner voice and I didn't think of it as a guardian angel or God or anything that was speaking to me. I recognised it was my own inner voice that said to me, you know, that's not the truth. This fantasy that you're having, it's not the truth.

The truth is that nothing will really change. Your mother will have the perfect excuse to drink. Your father won't really care because he was never really home. He didn't really have a connection with me anyway. And he doesn't care about me. That was my thought. And so nothing would change except your brothers and sisters would be alone. And that was sort of my first moment of truth. And so I didn't know it at the time. You know, for me, it just gave me strength. It gave me the determination to carry on. And I decided, okay, no matter what.

I was going to do this. I was going to go home and take care of my brothers and sisters no matter what. And so, yes, there was strength and resilience and determination and courage. Those are things that might have come from the moment. But what was most important was that voice. That when I went calm, because I was very calm in the face of my death, I was really calm. I was just like, wow, this is a way out. This is a solution. So I was calm and centred. And I went inside and there was that guiding voice.

So what happened over the next sort of 10 years of my life or 12 years, 15 years of my life is that every time I was in these critical situations, I would go inward and find that voice. So fast forward 20 odd years to when I was 26, I'd gone through military training, I had special forces training, which showed me what the mind really was and that the mind was just a limit and that we could, you know,

Vincent Cubitt (05:01.361)
go far beyond the perceived limits of our body and everything else. So I learned a lot about the mind during my specialist training in the Navy. And then fast forward, as I said, said, a point where I recognised this thing that was happening within me is a guidance system that we all naturally have. If we are clear and we go inward, this system is the perfect guide out of situations that are either difficult, that is a guide in life.

And so I spent the rest of my life obsessively trying to understand that system, trying to tap into that system, even to the exclusion. I didn't want to read books. I didn't want to research these things. I became very jealous of this process that was unfolding in my mind. I tapped into something that is very beautiful and powerful. I mean, I just quickly ended up by saying that, I mean, for a while I thought that, you know, maybe I was special. My ego played up. I was like, actually,

You know, everybody was telling me how special I was, knowing these things and speaking about these things. But then at about 26, 27, I traveled for four years, I came back to my country in South Africa, I'd been in the UK. And when I came back to South Africa, I'd met a few other spiritual people and they were telling me what I was saying was sounding like Akashic records, it was sounding like Dao -Di -Qing, the path. And I recognised for the first time, my little ego bubble burst and I recognised that actually,

This process that I found within, people had been writing about it and speaking about it for thousands of years. And that was the most powerful revelation because then I became obsessed. I said, okay, if I've tapped into something that we all have as human beings, how incredible is that? And so I wanted to feel more of that guidance. I wanted to tap into it. So those were the two biggest transformational moments in my life where I first of all had the experience and then at 26, 27,

where I realised it was common and that there's a natural inner wisdom, inner guidance system that we all have access to.

Hamish (07:05.942)
That's absolutely remarkable. I mean, the I cannot begin to get my head around. Any child should have to look after their siblings, parent their siblings, parent their parents and even worse, just that contemplation of suicide as a way to take the pain away. I mean, yeah, it's that that is just beyond my comprehension. I mean, I think.

Sitting on that lonely train rail must have been, must have been quite incredible just to sort of see that. I mean, I lived in Cape Town so I can see Table Mountain in the background. I can see the sun coming up. I'm not sure whereabouts you were, but I can sort of feel that time as everything changes and a new day begins and then like, here's a thought for you. Tell me a bit more about that. Tell me a little bit of, I'll try that again.

Tell me a little bit more about that voice and what you experienced when that appeared.

Vincent Cubitt (08:12.049)
It was just a really clear voice and as I call it the moment of truth. I know now it's the voice of my higher awareness. So obviously many layers to mind. You have your conscious mind that thinks it is running your life, the thing that is thinking and speaking and feeling and it really thinks it's in control. But it is not. And then you have the subconscious mind which is really driving the bus of your life. And then as part of that,

you have something that I would call then your higher awareness, which is the wiser part, which almost knows everything. It's like your interface. We spoke about, I just mentioned the Akashic records. And so in Eastern traditions, the Akashic records are seen as this record of all of existence, all information of existence. And the old sages said we had access to these records. We had access to this information and we had access to it.

through our higher awareness. So as we go inward and we start to tap into our own inner wisdom, we start almost downloading information. So we don't necessarily need to read it for a book. So my experience of it was very clear, a very clear, gentle, but very firm voice, which said, that's not the truth. Whatever you're thinking, that fantasy that's playing out in your mind, it's just not the truth. So it was...

And now, I mean, I live in that voice. So that voice has now become me. You know, so as for the past 15 years specifically, that's my voice. My thinking is there. I'm not sort of slave to my subconscious patterns and my subconscious fears and insecurities and everything else. I've sort of broken free of my ancestral pattern. And now that voice is me and it guides me every day in everything I do.

Hamish (10:07.382)
And yes, I understand that it's like a little voice of calm, isn't it? But how do you notice the difference between that little voice saying that and then the triggering the one that's going, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, you're useless, you know, all the past, all the past, all the past. How do you differentiate between them? Because one's trying to keep you safe and one's trying to keep you in your genius. How do you really listen to the one that is...

empowering you.

Vincent Cubitt (10:38.321)
So, I mean, many of us think of that little voice as our intuition. Okay, and so intuition is a part, just a small part of this natural guidance system. And the question is great because so many people struggle with this because they listen to the voice in their head, but often the voice in their head is the voice of their need, their addiction to stimulation, to attention, to validation. And so that voice often gets them into serious trouble. So they're going like, how do I really trust my intuition then if it's always getting me into trouble? So the voice...

that guiding voice has no emotional content. Where in fact, if you are listening to the other voice, there is always an excitement to it. There's always a fear, there is always an emotional aspect to the voice of your mind, your subconscious mind, its needs, its fears, its insecurities. That voice always has a charge. But your higher awareness, there is no charge. There's just sort of a calmness to it, a gentleness to it, but a firmness.

It's often very soft voice, not your mind that is screaming out like, give me more, I want more.

Hamish (11:45.718)
That makes so much sense. And that also then plays into that addiction, doesn't it? Because oftentimes we are addicted to that high emotional or that massive fear. And as you said, it's there. That little voice is just presence. And it's not frightening. It's not exciting. It's a different kind of emotion. It's not an absence of emotion, but it's like an utter peace and clarity.

Vincent Cubitt (11:46.257)
Yeah.

Vincent Cubitt (12:13.841)
Yeah, absolutely. And so I use the thing that I call the choice point process to guide my clients out of the deepest, deepest and darkest places that humans find themselves in. So severe addiction, mental, emotional disorders and disease. And those are three to six months journeys where I go on a journey with them every day, all day for three to six months. And so I am there walking beside them on their own path out of the darkest places, not me guiding them.

but their intuition guiding them and me making the links between their intuition and what is playing out in their reality. So when we talk about that journey, what we're using is what I call the single point of influence, which then uses emotion as part of our guidance system. So if there's an emotion present, something arises within you which creates a choice point. And either we are being stimulated into effect and we want more of that and our mind craves that. And so a lot of...

our attention is focused on how do we get what we need from our life to make us feel good, to make us feel safe, to make us feel powerful, empowered in our lives. And so we're always looking at those three aspects. And when we're not getting what we need, we immediately go into effect. And the effect is always a negative response where our control drama started to come up. So on both sides, whether we're being stimulated or whether we are getting into a reaction,

both of those have emotional content. So then if we understand that the emotional content is just part of our guidance system, whenever we feel that, there is an opportunity to pull ourselves out of the emotion and to come back to our centre, that quiet place within, in the moment, and that then becomes a beautiful point from which to navigate almost any situation. And so it's very, very powerful and very effective.

Hamish (14:07.542)
love that. And I guess it's just overcoming or other being aware of being, I don't like to use the word addicted all the time, but being safe, feeling safe. I'm gonna start this again. I love that. And I'm getting the getting the sense that we either want to feel safe at all costs, hence the unhealthy coping strategies, hence the

repeated patterns or the stories that we tell ourselves or other people. But when we're in that point that you've just mentioned, it's a case where we can actually make a decision based on what is really important for us rather than our needs. It's our desires, our helpful desires. So it's sort of, as you said, there's always a choice. What do I want to do? Do I want to stay in the past or do I want to be present and move forwards and try and...

Excel a little bit more for one of a better description.

Vincent Cubitt (15:07.057)
Yeah, I love what you just said there because you're saying about being present to it. And so when we go down this journey and we start to look inward more often rather than outward, which is what we tend to do because we're sentry driven, we're looking for the problems out there. That's what the mind is designed to do. The mind, you are not the mind. I mean, but we can go deeply into that. You are not the mind. You are more than the mind. The mind is a functional aspect of our being and it's the...

accumulation of all of our ancestral patterns, our conditioning and our memory that have come together in what we call an identity or personality. But as you go down this journey, you start to discover and for anybody that's done meditation or yoga, Tai Chi, Qigong or those kind of mindfulness things, they very quickly realize that they are the thing that is watching the mind and that voice that is speaking gently from the intuition, that's more of what we really are rather than the thing that's constantly thinking and feeling.

That is almost an automated response to the conditioning and ancestral patterning. But when we understand that, and that's a practice to get there, like with meditation, it's a practice to get to that place. But when we get there, then we recognize that what the mind is tending to do, it is trying to interpret this very moment. And this very moment is actually all that exists. The past is gone, and I have no power there. The future has not yet happened.

and I have no power there. So the only place I do have any power is this very moment. And this very moment is an imaginary line between the eternal past and the eternal future. So it's like a sliver between the two. But that is all that exists. And when you know that, then you start to understand how important it is to become present. Now the problem is this. What the mind is doing, it is designed to protect you and to validate you. Those are its first two sort of priorities.

that interprets this moment. So what does it do to interpret this moment? It goes into the past and goes, how is this moment similar to the things that have happened to me in the past that potentially have hurt me or how my needs were met or not met? Then interprets this moment. So it's not experiencing true reality. It's experiencing an interpretation of this reality, which is a perceptive reality. And then it projects into the future to see how it can help you, protect you, get what you need. So.

Vincent Cubitt (17:28.721)
Mostly, we are not here. We are up here in our head and that is a whole different world. For anybody who's read a great book, you will know how effective the mind is at creating a whole new reality for you. It is so powerful. So often we have to pull ourselves out of our mind, back into our bodies to be present to what is happening so that we can navigate that point that either obviously is leading us into more stimulation and that's our needs. And the more we chase our stimulation,

On this side, the more we suffer on that side, the need and the suffering are the same thing. So when we start to understand that, all of a sudden life starts to become really simple, very quickly.

Hamish (18:12.182)
I love that. It's that one of my favorite words, simple. Simple does not mean easy. That's the problem with simple, isn't it?

Vincent Cubitt (18:18.321)
No, it definitely does not mean any easy for anybody has ever tried to change an addiction or a thought form that is compulsive. You know, so every almost everybody knows that there are certain things over which they have no control. Maybe you lose your temper. Maybe you get jealous. Maybe you get bored, irritated or overexcited or manic. And you would have noticed that through the course of your life.

or you have destructive behaviors like you're picking up, you can't lose weight or you can't pick up weight or whatever it is, you've got a physical situation happening in your body, a medical situation and you can't change it, you feel so powerless to change it. When you start to use this process, you start to recognise that when you are able to be present and you can navigate either the part that seeks stimulation or the part of you that is reacting,

Now all of a sudden you can start to heal yourself of everything. And see the system doesn't teach us that. The system doesn't say that actually you are a powerful being and that you can cure yourself almost 100 % of everything.

We are not taught that and we need to be taught that. We need to be taught how powerful we are as beings.

Hamish (19:33.526)
Fabulous. There's so many questions I want to ask you. I'm definitely gonna start with so how do I how do I get centred? How do I get back into the moment?

Vincent Cubitt (19:43.441)
Well, that is a great question as well because the start of this process is first of all to start understanding yourself as a holistic system. To understand that I am a spiritual being, I am a physical being and I am a mental being. So mental and emotional are really part and parcel of the same thing. You can think of them as the masculine and feminine aspects of your being. The mental aspect and the feminine and the emotional aspect are part of mind. And then you've got your physical self and then you've got your spiritual self.

But everything that you are, everything that you think you are, all of your ancestral patterns, all of your conditioning, all of your memory, all accumulates into what we call a personality. So we cannot really work with things in the level of mind, because the mind is fractal. So when you're looking at the detail, and the mind likes to look at detail, so it's like a fractal pattern. When you look at one detail in the fractal, you like zoom in and then you see more pattern.

and then you go more into the detail and so the more you look at the details, the more convoluted it becomes, the more complex it becomes, the more detailed it becomes, and the further you get away from the simple truth that you are the creator of your reality, only you. And that almost all suffering is self -induced. And I know that's hard for people to hear if they are suffering. But unless somebody is actually beating you physically in some way, your suffering is really a product of how you think about what is happening rather than...

what is happening on the outside. So getting to this more empowered place, we are moving, the suffering is just a motivation for us to look at our way of thinking. And so to do that, that was your question. How do we do that? How do we get to a place where we can be clear? It's very simple. We have to start in our bodies because our bodies produce or transmute a lot of energy. And without energy in your system, you cannot,

even make a different choice. And so we do have to look at our lifestyle and we have to see how to bring our energy systems online in the body. And so that involves what I call the five pillars. It involves nutrition, hydration, sleep, movement, which is really oxygen, and getting rid of the toxins. There are many other things too, but those are the five things which...

Vincent Cubitt (22:09.233)
support your natural system, so your immune system, your gut health, your brain health, your body chemistry, all of those things require those five pillars. And so if in our lives we start looking at our lifestyle, and that's a standard thing we all have to do, we have to look at our body as a guidance system. When our body is out of balance in any way, it shows us that how we are processing life.

how we are processing the dense energy that we put into our mouth or absorbing through our skin is out of balance with the system's needs. And so we do have to look at our energy production as a system and go, okay, my lifestyle helps me generate energy within my body. And with that energy, I start to vibrate at a slightly higher level, which means I start to see a little bit more about life. I start to understand life a little bit more clearly.

And now I can navigate those moments in my life, which I call the single point of influence or choice points. I can navigate those moments with a little bit more consciousness, with a little bit more self -discipline, with a little bit more awareness. And then instead of, so I always go, the moment when you're triggered, say something happens in your environment, somebody says or does something, it's like a T -junction. For those who drive, it's like a T -junction. And at that moment when you're triggered, you hit the T -junction.

And in that moment, because your mind, your neural pathways, your conditioning, your habits, your patterns are set, you always turn left. You always respond to life in the same way. And you will notice when you have no choice. Sometimes you might have a bit of choice, but inevitably there are many places, especially those things that cause most of your suffering and your disease, that is an automated choice. You go left.

Once you start developing some energy in your body, clearing out the toxins and doing these things to get your energy systems online, when you hit that T -junction, you can actually stop, pause in that moment, and then choose to respond differently to life. Not react, but respond differently to life. And then it almost doesn't matter what you choose, because in that moment that you choose something different, you open up the unlimited potential for something new. If you are navigating that point with consciousness and awareness,

Vincent Cubitt (24:30.193)
You can heal anything.

Hamish (24:34.966)
Love it. That is, I met that in rehab, that you are always going to get triggered. It's just a fact of life. It's what your brain does, but it is, it's take a breath and then pause, really important, and then make that conscious choice. Do I want to react, snap, bite someone's head off, or do I actually want to find an outcome that is going to be better for me and move towards that, i .e. your response? It's...

Vincent Cubitt (25:03.825)
Absolutely.

Hamish (25:05.174)
beautifully simple, but again, it goes back to it's not very easy. It is a case of being a bit more mindful, being a bit more thoughtful. So the five pillars that you referred to, that is all about just getting more connected to your body and feeling when things aren't right and just getting a sense of personal awareness. So it's personal autonomy.

Vincent Cubitt (25:17.777)
Yeah, exactly.

Vincent Cubitt (25:33.809)
Absolutely. So it is understanding that first of all, if you're thinking of yourself as an energetic system and all those layers, you need energy. So even down at the cellular level where your mitochondria are like little energy factories that are converting energy, you need to support that process. So that is consciousness. That is being really conscious to understand what does my body need as a system to transmute energy on a cellular level. It needs to get rid of all the toxins because we live in a very toxic world.

And not only are we absorbing toxins on the physical, through our skin and through our digestive system, we also are producing so many toxins through stress and the environment through our skin. So everything is really toxic. Almost every process that I start with the clients on a journey is first to get rid of the toxins, to help the energy systems come online again. And then we have to burn oxygen. So burning oxygen is a very important part of actually

detoxifying, but also getting all the other systems like your immune system and everything else. So not just the normal breathing, but actually pumping oxygen through the system and forcing the muscles to burn more oxygen, which is like the furnace. It just powers up everything. And then we're looking at sleep without sleep. Nothing works. Nothing works. This is how I, when we want to punish people or when they're trying to get information out of people, they deprived them of sleep. It is so difficult for the human system.

And then the movement aspect of it is also part of your detoxification system, getting your lymphatic system going, and that's getting toxins out of the body, and it's burning oxygen. So all of these systems are supporting one another, and that means it's supporting your gut health, it's supporting your brain health, it is supporting energy production. So that is part of it. But as we develop our lifestyle, what it is when we look at lifestyle, there's another important factor.

It is you setting an intention that aligns with your wellbeing and then through achieving those attentions, keeping the promises to yourself, you are creating choice points. So you say, I want to be healthy. And then as part of that, you just potentially say, I want to quit smoking because it's limiting my oxygen in every moment of every day. And so I choose that as a vehicle. And yes, of course, quitting smoking is great for my health and actually essential. But what more important is happening.

Vincent Cubitt (28:00.241)
is that in the moment that I set that intention, that promise to myself, every time an urge comes up to smoke, a choice point is created, a one and a zero. Every time I choose a one, I am empowering myself. I'm starting to trust myself. I'm starting to believe in myself. Every time I choose a zero, I disempower myself. I tell myself I'm not important. I tell myself that I'm not worthy. And so there's this really simple mechanism in the mind.

that when you make empowering choices that align with your well -being and you make them consistently, that is self -discipline. Not just discipline, but self -discipline. Going against the voice in your head, which is, I can't, I'm fat, I'm stupid, I'm ugly, I'm lazy, it's too difficult, it's too early, it's too dark. That voice in your head is your pain body. So when I go against that voice, that voice is also saying, I need this line of coke, I need this cigarette. When I go against that voice and I develop self -discipline, self -discipline equals,

Hamish (28:36.566)
Mm.

Vincent Cubitt (28:57.713)
self -worth, equal self -love, equal self -respect. They're all part of the same thing. But it starts with self -discipline. So your lifestyle changes really take you into a whole different place, existence, where you, as I said, it also increases your vibration. So now you start, life starts to flow a little bit more easily. You see things from a higher perspective and you're not triggered all the time because if you've got no energy in your system, everything triggers you. Just think about,

Anytime in your life when you've been, this is especially true for mothers. They will know that when they are at their most depleted, when they're tired, their children go nuts. Because in that moment, all they need is energy and her energy is down and they can feel that immediately. And so they start reacting to get her attention to take energy from her. So when our energy is low, we lose our keys, we bump our toe, we bump our car. These things happen when our energy is low.

So just around that thought of is to know that from my perspective or from an energetic perspective, all mental, emotional disorders and all disease stem from a place where our energetic system is low on energy, completely our battery is flat and we have no healthy ways to get the energy that our system needs. And so that energy is coming from outside. It's attention, validation, money, food, sex.

sense of security. These are all external energy forms and if we have no healthy ways of getting that, it becomes mental -emotional disorders and eventually it manifests in the body as disease.

Hamish (30:39.542)
Wow. Okay. So, going back to that choice, one and zero, let's say I have a drinking problem and I know I should be not drinking. I know I really want to, but I relapse. How... From what you said, it sounded like I make an empowering choice, so I didn't drink that evening, that morning, that evening. Let's say I make an empowering choice, so I...

don't drink that evening and that's good. But another time things pile up and I need that drink and I take that drink. The following morning I'm gonna beat myself up and say, damn, I'm an idiot, la la la la la, hangover, low energy. How do you encourage people not to beat themselves up for making that poor decision? Because obviously you said you've got to change your lifestyle. So it's a...

It's a slow process. So how do I not beat myself up when I relapse? Take that cigarette, take that drink.

Vincent Cubitt (31:38.513)
Yes.

Vincent Cubitt (31:45.169)
That's why that analogy is so powerful. So if we look at it as a binary systems of ones and zeros, and every choice point is either or. So you will remember, so if we use the drinking or smoking as an option, so we've set that as an intention. When we understand this process, how we build self -worth and self -confidence through self -discipline, when we understand that, then we'll see that every choice point,

So if I am making a constructive choice, I get a one. So that one goes into my bank. And the more ones I have, the simpler it is to choose ones because now I have a bit of momentum. So for instance, with smoking, I haven't smoked for a month. I'm going like, wow, when somebody offers me a smoke, I go no. But now the issue is with our minds is that I go out, I have a drink. If you're using smoking as the example.

In that moment when the alcohol actually relaxes my intentions and lowers my willingness to stick to my intention, I then have a cigarette, one cigarette or just even a puff of it. I put it down and then I go, see, my intention is still in place. I didn't start smoking and yeah, and three weeks later, I'm still not smoking. That one puff that I had meant nothing. But then I go to another party, have another drink.

and then somebody offers me a cigarette. And then my thought is, well, you know what? A few months ago, I had that cigarette. It didn't change anything. I carried on with my intention. And so this one's not going to be a problem either. I can have it again. And then before you know it, those choices undermine your choices. And then before you know it, you're back on the slippery slope, down at the bottom of the hill. Now, when you understand this process, so it really is the intention behind it. So for instance, people getting fit.

as an example, someone can get fit and not understand that many fit people have not changed anything in their minds. They've just gotten fit because they want to be thin, they want to be healthy. But if you use this process with the intention that you're creating choice points to empower yourself, to conquer your mind, and you're making a choice from that perspective, that is a completely different thing than just going and being disciplined, going to the gym every day so you can be thin or have a beautiful body.

Vincent Cubitt (34:06.641)
So the intention behind your choice makes all the difference. And so now if you're making those choices with intention, you will recognize that I've made, so with the drinking, I have, I've been sober for 10 days, I've been sober for three months, I've resisted the drink so many times. So in my bank account, I've got a thousand ones. This one right now is just a reminder of where I don't want to be. I know where that path leads.

Hamish (34:36.886)
Mm -hmm.

Vincent Cubitt (34:37.041)
I know it. But this one choice doesn't negate these thousand choices that I've made. And so with that intention in mind, with that view of it, that will keep taking you towards a place of empowerment. Because that one just becomes a reminder of where you don't want to be. But of course, that choice has to be supported by all the other lifestyle choices.

Hamish (34:59.126)
Love it. Yeah.

Vincent Cubitt (35:04.049)
the exercise, the energy, the movement, all of those things. Because now you're building up, as I said, your energy builds up. And so as your self -worth increases and as your energy levels increase, the choice to hurt yourself becomes harder and harder and harder. Because as I become more clear in my mind, I don't want to lose that. The feeling that is in my body, the feeling of empowerment, that feeling of that actually for the first time in my life.

I can see where this is going. I feel some sort of empowerment. I'm heading in a direction. And then I tell so many of my clients who are on a road out of deep dark addiction, I say, at some point, you will not want to lose that feeling. It will become so valuable to you. You will not put that drink. You will not want to put that drink in your mouth. You go like, there's no way I'm going to give this up. This is amazing. And they all get there.

Hamish (36:02.39)
Wonderful. Yeah. I love that because I had to find a reason not to drink and I had to find it and I worked that one out. It took a time and I worked out it doesn't serve me. I feel rubbish in the morning. I don't like feeling like that. I feel embarrassed. I feel ashamed. I don't want to be ashamed. So exactly what you said. I've gone through that process of what do I want?

I want to get over where I am at the moment. I've got a vision. I've got what I'm moving towards goals, what I'm aligned with, my values rather than needs and wants, rather than I need to feel safe. So it is an awareness and it is choice. It has to be a choice, even if it's a choice every day for the first while to get over, make sense of an awakening or of an unhealthy habit. Yeah.

Vincent Cubitt (36:43.545)
Absolutely.

Vincent Cubitt (37:00.273)
And it's it's difficult Hamish, because so many people, when they're in the state of addiction, and it's just a state, it's not a disease, it really is not a disease, it's a state, it's an expression, it's a symptom of a lack of self -worth, a feeling of disconnection, a feeling of disempowered or not being safe, not being seen, not being heard, not being loved. That is really what is at the core of addiction. And so when we are going through this process, ultimately,

you have to start feeling differently in your body. And so whether that's linked to a thought of who I want to be, where I want to be in my life, it has to be. So during the initial part of the journey, we have no energy in our system. Our battery is completely flat and everything feels difficult. It's like you're walking through mud with chains around your ankles and you feel so trapped in that moment. And so on the journey that as a transformational guide on that journey,

You're almost like an external battery pack where you, in the connection with another human being, are helping support the energy system through the connection until they are empowered enough to tap into their own systems. But when their systems come online through exercise and awareness and looking inward and looking at how their minds are creating stories that are not true, when they start to see those things, then it's like this old power plant. The light's like...

flicker on and the energy system starts to come alive. The big place is when they start to feel it in their body. And as I said, that could be linked to some sort of purpose in their life, the image of what they want, whatever it is, but it really relates back to a feeling. And when you feel that thing, when you've suffered enough, when you've created enough suffering for yourself, that the suffering goes, I don't want this anymore. There's no part of me that wants this anymore.

When you get there, that's what suffering is meant to do. It is meant to force you to change your way of thinking, your way of being. And the suffering is just the motivation to go like, I don't want to be there anymore. And then that feeling then becomes your guide. And as I said, it can be linked to purpose. It can be linked to helping others move through the same journey. It can be linked to wanting to be there for your family, for your children, to be the father that you've always meant to be or the...

Vincent Cubitt (39:25.968)
rather than you always meant to be. It is linked to a concept and idea, but that is also linked to a feeling within yourself.

Hamish (39:35.382)
Fabulous. That makes a lot of sense. If we take that back to someone who is transitioning, someone who's having an awakening, they are within that remit. They are somewhere in that there's suffering, there's this, I don't want to change, I must change, I feel obliged to change. It's almost certainly in my understanding of an awakening, you almost have no choice. It's

It's so aligned with actually what you want to do. As you said, that suffering is saying, you know,

you're going to stay here until you move. So the awakening is that realization that I don't want to be beating myself up, drinking, having sex with everybody just for self validation to pull in energy. So the awakening is all about seeing that and then trying to make sense of it. But it's a lonely journey. So how do people sort of not necessarily, let's say they're not working with you, let's say they are

they're in that space. How do people start to make sense of their awakening?

Vincent Cubitt (40:46.737)
So again, a great question. I love you're so in tune. So the start of every journey is a shift in awareness. So if we understand that by design, the mind is looking externally for the reason why I'm suffering and with solution to my suffering. And so while we are looking externally for the reason and the cure, we have to create more because we have to understand the mind is like a blueprint.

You are the creator of your reality and the mind, which is an accumulation of all your ancestral patterns, your conditioning and your memory is a blueprint. And you experience reality and you create reality through the lens of that blueprint. Okay. So your life is like a projection on a screen. You cannot go up to the screen and then change the story by manipulating the images on the screen. So your life and your body,

Hamish (41:34.838)
Okay.

Vincent Cubitt (41:44.849)
are just projections, they're manifestations of what you believe. And because you are the creator of your reality, you can only create what you believe. So if you're suffering, you are creating that suffering. And so now, the first step to this awakening process is to stop looking, stop projecting externally and looking for the cause out there and go, what is happening inside me that I keep creating the same suffering again and again and again?

I mean, why am I attracting the same kind of man, the same kind of woman, the same kind of situations? I mean, unless I'm completely blind, I've recognised that there are very distinct patterns in my life, and I keep bumping my head at the same door. For those lost in the darkness of addiction, they know that pattern very well because they've seen, this is the sequence, then it builds up, then I get triggered, then I go into a period of addiction where I have no control. Then I come out of it, then I'm strong. So we all notice those cycles. So the first...

The first and most important step of awakening is to stop projecting out into reality and to develop insight. And you start looking in. So let's just use an example because that's the easiest way to understand that. If I'm looking out at my reality, and this is an analogy. So I'm a jealous man and I'm looking at my partner, my girlfriend, my wife, talking to some very handsome, wealthy, well -off guy over there. And my mind looks at that across the room.

I don't know what's happening there, but in that moment, I immediately have an emotional effect. So this anger or jealousy rises in me. In that moment, if I project out and look at the story that is taking place, I can be very angry at my wife or my girlfriend and my mind starts looking at all the details. It says, look at the way she's smiling. Look at her eyes twinkling and the way she's turning her head and the way she's playing with her hair and look at how she's stressed and he's looking at her boobs and he's disrespecting me and I can create a

Big story about that. And every thought I have fuels a chemical cascade in my body producing cortisol and adrenaline. Okay, those are my fight or flight chemicals. They're very empowering, but it wants to go and solve this problem. So the mind in its analytical state will go, what is the problem? The problem is my partner is hurting me. She's betraying me. And this guy is disrespecting me. So that's the problem. That's what's causing my suffering right now.

Vincent Cubitt (44:12.977)
And so what is the solution? I must discipline her, I must suppress her, I must change her, I must scream and shout and whatever it is to do all of those things, or I must get rid of him and get rid of him. So my mind doesn't look any further. It says, I know the problem, I know the solution. In that moment, my mind doesn't look any further. If you become a self aware being, you look inside, you go like, where is that emotion coming from? What's really going on here?

Why am I feeling so angry? And I'm not allowed to project into the story. And when I do that, I go beyond the anger, I go, why am I so angry? I go like, wow, there's a part of me that's scared that she wants him. So there's a part of me that is scared that she wants him more than she wants me. And if I dig and I excavate below the layers of mine, I get to a place where I go like, actually, I believe that she wants something else and that I'm not enough. So ultimately, I believe I'm not enough.

When I see that, that is a pattern that comes from really something that formed within the first, from my moment of conception to the time that I lost my teeth, my feelings of self -worth stem from the first seven years of my life. And so I cannot get to that pattern without following the emotion, the golden thread of emotion within my being without projecting into the story. So just to play out that analogy, tonight when I get home,

I've looked at the story, my mind has confirmed that I have a reason to be angry. I have a reason to feel like this because she's betraying me. She's my wife. I get home and I scream and I shout at her. And in that moment, she reacts to my reaction. She screams and shouts and tells my jealous boss that I tell her she's just a, you know, a flirt and whatever, whatever, and much worse than that because inevitably with all that, those chemicals flooding through my back, I want to almost...

hurt her for hurting me, maybe not physically, but with my words, with my intentions. I want to get some sort of retribution for the pain that she's causing me. And in that moment, there's no resolution because she could only see my reaction and I could only see her reaction. But if I had taken responsibility for that and I'd gone within myself and then the same scenario played out tonight, when we get home after the party, I could say to a baby, you know,

Hamish (46:31.094)
Okay.

Vincent Cubitt (46:35.313)
When I saw you talking to that really handsome guy, Jack, so much anger came up with me, so much jealousy. But I recognize in that moment that it's just coming from a place within me where I'm feeling really insecure. You know, the money's not been good, the job's not been working, all these things. And so it's really bringing up something in me where I'm feeling really insecure. And I can see how that insecurity plays out with my boss at work and with my brother and with my father and with this in these situations.

I can see how it plays out in my whole life. So now I've taken ownership of my pattern. I'm not projecting. I'm not saying I'm feeling like this because you're talking to that guy. And then I'm not projecting. And I can see that when I'm feeling like this, also I project that feeling onto you. And then I try to control you and suppress you. And I cause so many different things in you. And I can see how I'm doing that. But now that I can see that, I don't want to be there anymore. I don't want to be that guy.

And what I'm doing with that vulnerable exchange, yes, I'm making myself vulnerable in that moment because she could stab but don't agree my heart and say, yes, you're a jealous bastard. I've always told you that. But that would mean if she's still protecting herself in that moment and defending us, that means that she was flirting and she was enjoying it. Okay. But so you are exposing yourself in a way, but what it does is opens up this incredible opportunity for her to say two things. Well, either if she has no reaction, no emotional content, that means she wasn't involved in the story.

Or she might say, you know, baby, when Jack was speaking to me, you're flirting with me. And for a moment, it felt really good to be wanted. It felt really good to be desired. You and I haven't been connecting for months. And in this moment, in that moment, it felt really good. And I was enjoying it. But I don't want Jack. I love you. I want to be with you. Now, in the authentic expression, having taken ownership without the projection, which then activates.

her self -defense mechanisms, now there is the potential for resolution. And from that, something beautiful comes. But if I'm stuck in the story and I'm just projecting, all I do is activate her self -defense mechanism. She thinks I'm a jealous bastard. I think she's a flirt. And we never get past that for years. And we actually eventually either have to go into stagnation or break up because we can't get past that perception because we've never taken ownership of our own patterns.

Vincent Cubitt (49:01.649)
And the interesting thing about that, just to finish off that analogy, is that when I'm looking at that story, it doesn't matter whether she's flirting or not flirting. All that matters is the story that is playing out there in reality has triggered an effect in me. And when the emotion is present in me, I can follow that golden thread down to the pattern at the core of my being that is causing all of my suffering and all of my disease.

And that is really powerful.

Hamish (49:35.99)
Wow. Yeah. So we, that is really powerful. Thank you. And it is a case of just patterns, as you said, that we developed as children when we didn't have that awareness to be, to understand or make sense of the adult world. We devised coping strategies and ways of believing and existing to make sense of things.

Vincent Cubitt (50:04.337)
And to protect ourselves. And so, those first seven years, as you step into this reality, you're looking at, is there enough connection? Because I am, well, when you go deeper into the energetic thing, you recognize that you are an eternal soul. I mean, everybody who comes from a religious background of any sort recognises that we are eternal souls, that we do not live or die.

When you go down this path, it becomes very specific because you know, I can be conscious and aware of my higher awareness and I can be conscious and aware of my soul level. But as we go down this path, you then start to recognize that all of the patterns are just playing out in your life. So that your eye can see it, so you create with the patterns you create in your reality, so your eye can see it and your mind can change it. So all that you're really doing here at the single point of influence, whenever you trigger it and you follow that emotion within,

you are starting to see the patterns, whether they're ancestral, whether they're conditioning that happened in the first seven years of your life, whether it's memory from the things that have actually happened, the traumas that have actually happened, it doesn't matter at which level the pattern forms. The only thing that matters is that in this moment, it is triggering an effect. And if I navigate this moment, I start to dissolve, I don't go left and reinforce the pattern, I choose to go right.

And the more I choose to go right, the more I start to dissolve that pattern. That also means I start to change my neurological pathways, I start to change my habits, my personality. Everything starts to change when I start to go against the reactive aspect of my own mind. Everything starts to change. And there's nothing more important and powerful than my existence than to recognize that...

from the self -awareness that's going inward to see what is happening within me in that moment that I'm triggered. There's a quote, I can't remember by who at the moment, but there's a quote that says, between the moment of the stimulation and the response, all potential lays there. And that's what this is, the single point of influence is so powerful because when I can navigate that, I can navigate it with addiction, I can navigate it in my relationship with my lover, with my family members.

Vincent Cubitt (52:22.769)
with my business, with money, with everything, because I am navigating the part of me that feels like it is disempowered, unloved, or unsafe. And that's all that's happening, always.

Hamish (52:39.286)
So we are generally addicted to our stories and every time we tell that story we are reinforcing it, we're adding a little bit of embellishment.

Vincent Cubitt (52:51.121)
So beautifully said, because we are addicted to the story. And so when like with the jealousy analogy that I just used, as soon as you started, the key to this whole experiment, this key to this thing that we call life is self -awareness, is to look at yourself. How do I get the energy that I need? How do I edit my personality, myself, when I'm speaking to a pretty woman or a handsome man when I'm speaking to my boss?

when I'm in different situations, how am I editing my tone of voice? Not as a judgment, but just as an awareness. Why do I wear specific clothes? Why am I always pointing out my Ferrari or my million dollar mansion or my boobs are hanging out or what? Again, not as a judgment, but just as an understanding, how do I get what I need from out there? And how does my system react when I'm not getting it?

What are my control dramas? How do I try to get the energy that I need from out there? And that is the most powerful. And as I said, that all takes focus in that moment that I'm triggered and I have no control over my response, my reaction to life. In that moment, there's something magical happening there because our brain by design wants to project the most acceptable image to the world. That's what it's doing all day, every day.

But in that moment that you can lose control over that projection, there's something magical happening there. And so we have to, that's the only time we have to pay attention. We can play out the story. So my life is a story. And that story is based on all of those patterns that we speak about. So I'm just playing out the program. I'm playing out the program. That's what the Matrix movie was about. I'm playing out the story, this reality. But in the moment that I'm triggered, I'm getting access, I'm getting a view.

to the pattern that dictates the story. And so, wow, that's an incredible thing. So now I can start working on the subconscious patterning just by following the emotion inward, which it's only when the emotion is present that that golden theory exists. I can try to think my way there, but I cannot find my way through the darkness and all those little patterns down to that actual pattern that says, I lack self -worth. And I...

Vincent Cubitt (55:09.297)
Generically, I can tell you, we all lack self -worth. We all feel disempowered, unloved, and unsafe when we are triggered. So we can all track it back. We're all busy with the same patterns in humanity. But it all just manifests in our own very special little story.

Hamish (55:31.702)
Brilliant. Okay, so a nice step forward then is changing that belief around triggers. So when I am triggered by somebody or something, as you said, every potential comes my way. So being triggered is a blessing. Being triggered is really a chance to learn when you're able to take that breath and go, what am I seeing about myself I don't like? What am I seeing about that person?

and they are mirroring something about me. Tell me about triggers and why they can be so important.

Vincent Cubitt (56:03.921)
Absolutely.

Vincent Cubitt (56:09.201)
Sure, I love the way your mind just picked up the most important part of that. So triggers are our guides. Triggers tell us that an emotion, so energy in motion is emotion. So as soon as my system is a stable system, so let's just say I exist in a state of zero. That's my normal day. I'm running the program. That's the matrix level of my existence. I'm just running my programs. Nothing is happening. I'm at zero.

But as soon as something in my environment triggers me, either into the positive, which is stimulation, or into the negative, which is reaction, whatever is happening, the emotion starts to move in my body. That's an emotion. The emotion tells me that one of my patterns, one of my belief systems has been triggered. So now we understand that the trigger is a guide. The trigger is your only guide inward. You follow the emotion inward, you excavate through the layers.

and then you see the pattern. And the interesting thing is when I'm triggered with my lover, when I'm triggered with my family members, when I'm triggered with money or food or my feeling of safety, it doesn't matter where I'm triggered. My mind has compartmentalized all of these things as separate. It's trying to analyze them all. And so my mind doesn't take them and put them all together in one thing. So when I'm looking externally, there are millions of things that trigger me and millions of variables that affect those triggers. That's too complex.

But now when I'm looking inward, there's only one variable. Reality has triggered me. The feeling is coming from within me. Where is that feeling coming from? What is really happening in this moment? Why do I feel? Why am I reacting to this? When I'm asking myself those questions, I get to see the elephant in the room. Now there's only space for one elephant in this room. No more. But every time I'm triggered by different...

people in situations, I get to see another little bit of the elephant. And the beautiful part is when I see the whole elephant, now I'm empowered. Because now in that situation with my wife talking to the good looking dude, in that moment I've seen the elephant in the room. And when I see the elephant in the room, I'm empowered to take ownership. And then from that place I can speak authentically from a place that is vulnerable, I can own my pattern and not project. I can go, it's the elephant in the room.

Vincent Cubitt (58:32.081)
I don't go, but you did something. No, no, I go, the elephant in the room is very active at the moment. And this is how it's affecting everything. And this is how it's affecting you. And I take full responsibility for the elephant in the room. I don't need you to change. I don't need you to make me feel loved or make me feel safe. Because ultimately you can't do that. Only I can do that. You can't give me love. You can just give me attention, which makes me feel loved in the moment. But that's not love. That's need.

And so need and love are very different things and most of us exist in a state of need instead of in a state of love. A state of love is something that we achieve and it never goes away. It doesn't dissipate. We don't lose it or find it or have it with some situations. Love is a state and when we're in that state, all of our thinking, all of our behavior, everything comes from that state of being. But we think love is the thing that we give each other. So when we are pouring our life force into each other in forms of attention,

All of that new energy in the system starts to vibrate a little bit higher. Now all of a sudden, we go, I feel so much love. But that love is born in need. And so while I can make sure that you're giving me that attention, I feel love. But as soon as you focus that attention on work or someone else or something else, immediately I feel that and I go like, wow, that person doesn't love me. I can't control the energy, so that makes me feel very insecure.

And that is the cause of so much of our suffering and all the stories that play out in our relationships.

Hamish (01:00:03.926)
Wow. Yeah. It's that simple, isn't it?

Vincent Cubitt (01:00:07.729)
It's all about energy.

Hamish (01:00:14.518)
Cor Vincent, you have given me an awful lot to think about. there. I love the part about triggers and I've understood as well that they are places to learn from. But how do we manage our reactive energy so we don't, as soon as something triggers us, how do we manage that energy so we don't just fly off the handle? Because that's...

Vincent Cubitt (01:00:19.441)
Good.

Hamish (01:00:43.222)
what seems to happen most of the time.

Vincent Cubitt (01:00:45.009)
Yeah. So I'll share with you another analogy that my clients find very useful. So if we are not the mind, we are trying to see the patterns that are triggered. So imagine yourself standing beside the highway of your mind and there are yellow cabs because you're in London, yellow cabs driving up and down or black cabs. What are they? Black cabs. Black cabs in London driving up and down. And those cabs are thoughts and feelings and you're just watching them.

And they're happening all the time. Your thoughts are happening to you rather than you're consciously thinking them. If you've ever tried to meditate, you will know that. They're just sort of happening, especially when they're coming through from the subconscious. And so you're watching the cabs go up and down. And when you're triggered into effect, the cab pulls up on the roadside. And because it's a program that's running, you inevitably get into the cab. You have no choice. It's a reaction. Now your body starts producing cortisol and adrenaline and all kinds of other things. And your mind is thinking these terrible thoughts.

But she did this and she's cheating and she's that and he did this and every thought it thinks produces more cortisol and adrenaline. Now normally that fight of those fight to fight chemicals only last for about 45 seconds, but every new thought stimulates another little squirt. And so now this chemical cascade is building up in your body where you want to and you're feeling very empowered. So you want to fight the lion or you need to run away from it. One of the two that's building up. Now in the taxi cab, the meter starts running as you know.

and what the meter is going to charge you is suffering. The cab is always heading towards a place where you are going to hurt the person that you love that is standing in front of you that has triggered you or yourself or create destruction in your life. Take the drink, take the smoke, take the line of coke, whatever it is. The taxi is always heading to a very destructive place. Now the self -awareness goes, I'm triggered into effect. my God, I'm in the taxi cab.

I need to get out of the taxi cab as soon as possible. That's your objective. And so with all your energetic resources from your lifestyle and the self -discipline that you develop in your lifestyle, making conscious choices every day that align with your well -being, you've developed the awareness that you need in the taxi cab and you've developed the self -discipline to pull yourself out of the story. So pull myself out of the story of what I'm watching out there. No, the story doesn't matter. So I pull myself out of the story.

Vincent Cubitt (01:03:09.457)
The objective is to get out of the taxi cab as soon as possible. Now with your lover or your family members, you would understand that you lose your temper or whatever it is, and you would have an agreement with them and you would say in that moment, you know what? I'm feeling overwhelmed at this moment. I'm feeling really angry, really upset, whatever it is. I just need to send to myself. I can't solve this in the moment. So please just give me a moment to recenter myself. I really want to have this conversation, but I just can't do it now because I'm so upset.

And then you go away and you excavate the layers, you see the elephant in the room, you calm yourself down again, you come to your center again, back to zero. And from that place, you have the authentic conversation without projecting and going through the process without once projecting, taking full ownership. What happens with that is it doesn't matter whether you're in the cab for 10 minutes or 20 minutes or 10 days.

The fact that you get out of the taxi cab counts. But the closer you can get out of the cab from the moment that you got in the cab, the more powerful the reprogramming mechanism. So as soon as I'm aware that I'm triggered and I go, whoa, that's the elephant in the room. The story is not real. Get out of the cab. There's no real danger yet. This is my lover. This is the person I love. This is my brother, my mother, my father. There's no real danger here. There's no guy with a knife. There's no lion that's going to eat me.

Hamish (01:04:23.486)
Hmm.

Vincent Cubitt (01:04:37.137)
There's no danger here. I'm not in danger. Step out of the cab, centre myself. So the programming, the reprogramming happens very, very effective and efficiently. The closer and the closer you get to the point of the trigger. Eventually, as you practice this every day, and you've taken ownership of the elephant in the room, eventually you get to a place where the taxi will stop, you're triggered, you'll feel the emotion, you will recognize that your purpose to dissolve this pattern.

You will thank the cab driver, you'll say thank you sir for stopping for the reminder, but I don't need your services today. Eventually the cabs will be driving up and down. You'll recognize the cabs, you'll smile to yourself and remember the old you that couldn't help but getting into this taxi cabs. And so therefore you've dissolved the power that your mind has over you. That is what we are all here to do. And so there's a beautiful mechanism which I'll share with you and your listeners.

which I call the Transmutation Mechanism and that I teach to all my clients. And this is something that I want to share obviously with every human being on the planet that is suffering because it's so powerful, is that when we are triggered, a very specific energetic state has been created in your body. Okay, so I don't know if you know what an Alchemist is, but for listeners, anybody who doesn't know, the Alchemist of all...

were people who were thought of as magicians or wizards that had the ability to transmute a dense metal like lead into gold, to take something and change it at an elemental level. And we, as human beings, are alchemists. We are alchemists. We are here to change lead into gold. Now, no matter how good of an alchemist you are, and if your purpose here is to create gold, what you need to create gold is lead.

Okay, and so in the context of our lives what is happening is as soon as I'm triggered into effect The energy starts to move a very specific energy state is created in my body that is the lead and What I then do is I become aware as soon as I'm triggered. I'm in the taxi cab. I remember my purpose I'm the alchemist I'm here to dissolve the pattern that is causing that emotional state that is causing all of my suffering

Vincent Cubitt (01:07:03.857)
Now, I remember it's my purpose. I look down at my hands and I go, I have the lead. It's my purpose to transmute this. And it's only when I have lead, so it's only when I'm feeling it, that the mechanism is powerful and effective. But now I have the lead. So I'm so grateful for this opportunity. And then I use the purpose, understanding my deeper purpose, I use the gratitude for that moment, and then I...

tap onto that, the gratitude for all that I have in my life. The gratitude for the food in my plate, even the roof over my head, the people that love me, my health, anything. And I generate that feeling because gratitude is a vehicle. Gratitude is a very, very powerful vehicle back to the center, back to your calm, back to your peace, back to your state of empowerment. So purpose.

gratitude for the opportunity to transmute this pattern within me. And then I reinforce that with the gratitude I really have. I'm not in danger. I'm here. Even if I'm living in the street, I'm alive. I'm grateful to be alive. And so I use that gratitude back to my sense. And from that center, I then choose to respond to my life. And in that response, I open up the unlimited potential for something new. So I've transmuted.

an energetic state from lead, which is very dense, in which I can't move, I can't think, I can't be, to a state of...

is love, which is peace and that transmutation, the oscillation between the lead and the gold is what dissolves your patterns, is what transforms your life and empowers you to create the life that you want for yourself, to heal yourself at every level.

Hamish (01:08:59.638)
Wonderful. I think you've shared some absolute magic today. I think people are going to listen to this and go, that was amazing. I need to listen to it again. So thank you very much for that. What would you suggest people do to help them in their processes? So I've listened to this, my life isn't making sense. I know I get triggered.

I know how to respond to that trigger, but I'm going through a transition. I'm in that state of awakening. I mean, to be honest, we're in that all the time our whole life. What tools and mechanisms do you recommend people can do to help them navigate?

Vincent Cubitt (01:09:47.409)
Sure. Where do we start? So we recognise that we're in this place, we recognise that we want change and just understand, change your mind, change your life. That's sort of my motto of my business and everything else. And so we have to start there, but we cannot start with the mind. We have to start with the body. The body is the only tangible connection that we have to the patterns. Okay, we cannot start in mind because it's fractal. We cannot start on the spiritual level.

Hamish (01:09:51.67)
Take care.

Vincent Cubitt (01:10:17.265)
because we have no access to it, it's not real. But the body is real, it's physical, it's tangible. And so we set our intention to generate energy, to become healthy, to become strong. Strong is important. Strong, healthy, fit, balanced. We set that intention in our physical life. And when we set that intention, we choose things that are easy, choose things that are convenient.

Choose things that are accessible. So choose things that draw us. So if we like, for instance, horse riding, or we like jogging, or we like weight training, or we like dancing, whatever it is, choose things which we are drawn to do, but also that make sense. Because if they don't make sense, practical sense in your life, I like, I want to go horse riding, and that's going to be my way of getting fit. But I have to drive an hour to get there. I have to pay money that I don't really have at the moment.

a time that I don't have, that is never going to last. It's going to last while you've got the motivation, but it's never going to be something that you sustain. So choose things that you can do for a half an hour every day that you can apply when you get out of your bed in the morning. These are things that you are going to sustain. If it doesn't cost you too much mentally, emotionally, materially, those are things that you can sustain.

and you're making small changes every day. You're racking up the ones, you're racking up the ones. So whether it's nutrition, hydration, sleep, toxins, exercise, that is your guide. So look at my body from a very non -judgmental way. Just look at my body and go, my skin is in a terrible order. I'm carrying too much weight. I'm too thin. I'm not feeling strong. I'm struggling with my belly and I've got cramps. Use your body as your first guide and start moving towards balance.

But educate yourself, don't go to the doctor and say, doctor I'm a mess, please fix me. Doctors cannot fix you. Doctors cannot heal you. They really can't. They can treat the symptoms and often when they're treating the symptoms, they have to do that with chemicals and that is just gonna make the situation so much worse. If you have to take chemicals, it is as a sort of bridge to a place where you are healing yourself naturally. And that's where we have to be.

Vincent Cubitt (01:12:42.161)
heal yourself as naturally as possible. Now with the internet, it's so easy to educate yourself as to what makes your system healthy. How do I improve my gut health, which is number one? How do I support my immune system, which is number two? How do I support my brain chemistry? Those three things are systems. They support everything. So my hormonal systems, the detox, everything comes from there. And so,

Do the research, become independent, stop relying on external systems to get there. And when you do that, and you've set your intentions, and you are sticking with your promise to yourself every day, and you start to learn to trust yourself. When I say, I'm going to get up tomorrow morning at six, and I'm gonna jump in a ice cold bath, I do that. Because that promise to me is the most important promise I can make.

I don't listen to the excuses my mind comes up with because there's no way I want to jump in that ice bath tomorrow morning. But I'm racking up the wounds or there's no way I want to go for that walk or that run or that whatever it is. There's no way I want to push my heart rate up to, you know, do a HIIT session. HIIT sessions are going to be your biggest needle mover in life. Pushing your heart rate up as high as you can for as long as you can and doing it two or three times in a row. Biggest needle mover. But that's for another conversation. Those are the five pillars.

So these are things, so looking at your body, bringing it back into balance is the way that you start to align on the mental emotional level, that you start to align on the spiritual level. Your body is a tuning fork. So as just to then just guide people, if you want to have some resources, they can obviously go to my website. I think you're going to have some links there for them. So they can go to my website. There's a very basic ebook called the five pillars, which gives you ideas, which guides you, it's for free.

which guides you to a place where you can start taking back your power to heal yourself. And it starts in the body. So the five pillars are all about that and understanding the energetic implications to that. How we're developing self -discipline and self -worth and self -awareness. That's what we're really doing. That's what we're always doing. And so they have that resource, but that doesn't mean they just hand over their power to me and say, Vincent's is right. I'm just going to do it. Vincent says, no, Vincent's just talking.

Vincent Cubitt (01:15:07.697)
You have to apply it in your life. You have to test it for yourself. You are an individual. So then apply it and see your life change. As soon as you start looking at the physical and moving towards a place of balance and strength and health and fitness, within a week, you start to feel different. Within three weeks, your entire energy system has changed. Within three months, you are a different human being. Like...

Hamish (01:15:19.478)
Thank you.

Vincent Cubitt (01:15:35.761)
Literally a different human being and that is not even having taken You know the right turn once that is just you doing every day what you have to do to get your energy systems online to detoxify the body to burn oxygen to sleep properly to drink enough water Preferably add a little bit of real salt but to do those things Your whole system would have changed within three months. There is no person I've taken people out of the deepest

darkest places and within three months they've tapped into their own energy system and they're going I never want to lose this again. Never.

Hamish (01:16:10.166)
Okay.

Vincent Cubitt (01:16:13.265)
So that resource is available for them. And then if they want to take it even further, I'm also doing another thing, which is I'm offering a free three month transformational program for anybody that wants to empower themselves in their lives, that wants to tap into their own inner wisdom, their own inner guidance, and that want to heal themselves of any mental, emotional stress and problems of any physical disease.

This is the path, and it's completely free. There's no strings attached, there's no hidden agendas. It is just taking this beautiful natural process that is within all of us and sharing it with as many people as possible so that they can start to feel empowered, so that they can start having empowered relationships with their children, with their family members, so that they can navigate the intense emotional situations with their lovers.

So the invitation is there to all of your listeners to get onto the website, register for, so we're busy with one at the moment. The next one, I think, starts in July, but it's open to everyone and it's completely free.

Hamish (01:17:25.27)
Wonderful. I think you have successfully preempted me on pretty much every question I was going to ask you. So that just shows how intentional you are with your journey and helping people. So thank you for that. So you've told us how we can find, where we can find you. How can we find you? Where can we find you? What's your website? Where are you on social media?

Vincent Cubitt (01:17:46.385)
So my handle on social media and on my website is just my name and surname Vincent Cubitt, C -U -B -I -T -T, but I think that you're going to link that down below anyway. And yeah, so people can just reach out and go on that journey of empowerment within themselves. You know, at the deepest level of our existence, we are all connected. And our purpose is to walk each other home to freedom.

to freedom from suffering is the first level. So we have to, as the first step in our journey as human beings, is we have to work through our ancestral patterns, our conditioning, and our memory and our belief systems. We have to dissolve the effect that they have in our body, that they have in our lives. And so we all suffer through that. And once we've started to become more empowered, we start to recognize that there's a beautiful flow to life.

that there is this incredible magic in the connection and that things are happening for a reason and that life, in fact, is constantly supporting you for your highest good. For those that are suffering, it doesn't seem so because they can only feel the suffering. And when we look out at what human beings have created on our planet, all we see is the suffering and the disease and the wars and the crime and all of these things. But as an organism, as a human organism,

We too are creating externally so that we can see where we are disconnected. So we are disconnected from our truth that we are these incredible beings, these incredible creator beings. So therefore we are also disconnected from nature. And so what we are creating, the systems that we are creating are still very destructive because we don't understand how all of life is intricately connected in this very, very powerful web of creation. And so...

When you start to experience that, life takes on meaning. There is a purpose, and my purpose is not separate from your purpose. We have a unified purpose as human beings, and it really is freedom. Freedom from suffering and freedom from that part of us that thinks that we're just human struggling to survive. And just to reference back to what I said earlier, that is what, if anybody loved the movie The Matrix, that's what The Matrix was about. The Matrix was about...

Vincent Cubitt (01:20:10.385)
that there are two different realities, this externalized version of reality where we're living in the story of our lives and then a deeper awareness that we are these eternal beings of infinite potential that our souls do not suffer, that our souls don't live and die and that this life is a functional aspect where we are evolving consciousness and creating love so that we can embody our true nature here and create from this incredible place where there's no suffering.

Hamish (01:20:43.638)
Thank you. Absolutely wonderful. Wow. I completely agree with that. It is just, I'm not gonna use any of this. I'm just, yeah, that was just fantastic.

Hamish (01:21:02.198)
I'm going to chop all this bit out and then come back to the final question. So I'll just start with that.

Hamish (01:21:10.166)
Thank you Vincent, that was truly remarkable. You've given me an awful lot to think about and I'm pretty sure you've given everybody listening an awful lot to think about as well. What was your gift? I always ask this question, what was your superpower that you received from your awakening?

Vincent Cubitt (01:21:29.425)
I think the superpower is the realisation of how connected everything is in life. And that feeling, the deeper sense of purpose. There is nothing in our reality that compares to that. No validation, no attention, no money, no power, no sex, no nothing that compares to this feeling, this deep, deep, deep, inherent feeling of connectedness and purpose.

And so I think that is really the gift of awakening, is to understand that there's so much more to this life and we have barely scratched the surface of it. It's so beautiful. I always call it elegant, the interconnectedness of everything, so elegant in its design.

Hamish (01:22:20.31)
Fabulous. Well, thank you ever so much for everything you shared with us today. That has been wonderful and I've thoroughly enjoyed it. And thank you very much for your time.

Vincent Cubitt (01:22:21.009)
Okay.

Vincent Cubitt (01:22:30.993)
It's been a great pleasure. Thank you so much for asking me to be here and I'm so grateful to be able to reach the people in the UK a little bit. And so if they find their way to my website, hopefully they will connect and then you can explore a little bit deeper.

Hamish (01:22:46.774)
Wonderful. Thank you ever so much.

Creators and Guests

Host

Hamish Niven

Host of The Crucible Podcast 🎙 Guide & Mentor 💣 Challenging your Patterns Behaviours Stories

Guest

Vincent Cubitt

Vincent Cubitt is a self-taught transformational guide with almost 30 years of experience guiding others out of chronic states of addiction, mental emotional disorders, and disease.

S1-E02 | Vincent - At just 9 years old Vincent was prepared to end his life to escape his traumatic childhood.

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